The Return

L got back last night, and it was so good to see her and feel her in my arms again when we collapsed into bed together. Waiting until bedtime for sex wasn't an option. After she had taken a shower she was lying on the bed with a towel wrapped around her, I couldn't resist the urge to be on top of her, kissing her hard and passionately, grabbing and pulling at her hair. Moments later I was inside her, fucking her hard and fast. She asked for permission to come right away, and I granted her permission to do so and I soon followed, filling her up with my cum.

She was exhausted...physically and mentally...from the trip so I held off on any disciplining so she could rest. She has to leave again tonight but will be back tomorrow night.

We both agreed that something changed during the time she was gone, and a lot of that has to do with the reason for the trip and the issues she is having to deal with in her life. I have promised my support to her to be her rock during this extremely difficult time, but have also made it clear what the requirements are. The D/s relationship we embraced has come to mean so much to us, and we are both trying...wanting...to hold on to that right now. It's difficult to do that when we are not together, and again...difficult to do given the circumstances that are occurring. But we both need this like oxygen. The training had just essentially started before she left, and we had reached a good level...but in some ways, we are starting it back up again.

I don't feel like much of a Master right now, and I know the responsibility to regain that control and power lies in my hands. It's hard. But I/we have love and commitment, dedication and desire, and with those things, we will get through this.

longing

 night three of my pet being gone and I yearn for her. We Doms are supposed to be strong and resilent but we gather our strength from our subs. Their absence is equivalent to kryptonite. Our situation is compounded by the life changing and tragic reason for her being gone. I know she craves my control as much as I crave needing to control her.

As the song by the Police goes...bed's too big without you...

Vanilla goodbye

L is leaving town today for about six days, and it already feels strange to not have her around. It's escalated by the reason she is out of town, which is not a pleasant one at all.

Last night in bed as I embraced her I told her we were just going to make love. "I was going to ask you if we could do that," she said.

And we did. No spanking, no slapping, no being called a filthy slut...just tender love making that ended in wonderful orgasms for both of us.

Email exchange between S and L on Thursday morning:

S. I'm glad we made love last night in the manner that we did. It was what was needed at the time.
L: Oh, it was. Just what was needed.


There are some stressful times happening in our respective lives right now, extremely stressful at times. But as I said below, we have something to hold on to to guide us through it. We are an exceptionally strong couple right now, and that is such a secure feeling.


I will miss my pet.

Survey says

I added a survey asking about the frequency of sex in a D/s relationship. L and I had an active sex life prior to the relationship but it has certainly picked up speed over the last three weeks. I seem to be "on" on a regular basis as does she. It's quite...exciting. Constant cravings, as the song goes.

Buckets.

L has nicknamed me Buckets since we have been together because a lot of times when I come, I tend to be rather...copious...when I release. She has joked that I should pursue the porn industry because I would be perfect for the money shot.

Last night fit into the buckets category. L is still on her period, and being a kind Dom, I gave her ass a break last night and had her give me one of her quite excellent blowjobs...but not until she was begging for it. After playing around for a bit, I sat astride her, pinning her arms down as she moved her head up towards my cock, opening her mouth like a hungry little bird. Each of her begs and attempts to take me in her mouth were meant with slaps across the face.

"Just look at it for now," I said, as I stroked myself in front of her. "Look at how big and hard you make me. You want that in your mouth, don't you? Fucking little cock slut."

"Oh god, yes," she breathed heavily, and at one point wriggled her arms free and tried to reach for me to pull me towards her.

"We will fucking do that when I am ready!" I growled, lifting her off the bed and slamming her back down again.

Eventually I gave in and lay back on the bed and had her get between my legs and begin sucking me, which she did with feverish abandon, the sounds of her slurping music to my ears. I grabbed the back of her hair and forced her mouth down on me as deep as she could go.

"You like that cock in your mouth, don't you?" I said. "You like to suck your Master's hard cock?"

She then stopped and started stroking me. "Don't do that," I snarled. "I'll decide where I am going to come."

"I can't swallow it tonight," she said, almost sobbing. "Please, it will be just too much."

"Keep sucking my cock," I said. "I will let you know."

Fortunately for L I wasn't too fixated on her swallowing me that night, though I was tempted to do so just to teach her a lesson. What I wanted to do was coat her with my cum, so when I felt my orgasm approaching, I grabbed her off of me and threw her back down on the bed on her back. I then straddled her and began stroking. She held her tits together for me and ran her tongue around her lips, waiting for me to explode.

And explode I did as a long thick stream of cum drenched her chest, and then a second stream came out that shot further and landed on her cheek. More came out as I covered my little bitch with my cum.

"Good god," she said, as I handed her some tissues (quite a lot of them) to wipe herself off of. "Thank you for not making me swallow that."

I wasn't done with her yet though. After a 15 minute rest I had her resume touching me with her hand. I had told her earlier that day that I wanted her to work on her prostate milking skills. We had only recently started doing that, and she hadn't quite gotten to the point where she was stimulating my prostate, though the experience itself was quite enjoyable. As i quickly became hard again, she got a condom and inserted it on her finger and began exploring around my ass, slowly putting her finger inside of me as I loosened up while she sucked on my cock. I responded to her physically, adjusting myself to give her better access. She worked her finger in more and then...bam!..she hit the magic spot and my body stiffened up. Moving her head away, I started stroking myself again as she worked on me with her finger, and in a matter of seconds, I had another explosive orgasm.

As far as L, I granted her permission to touch herself afterwards, with me twisting, pulling and slapping at her nipples. Soon she came as well, and both of us went quickly to sleep after telling each other how much we loved each other.

L is still on her period so we might have one more night sans fucking her pussy, which means I will use my mind to come up with how we are going to ensure my pleasure tonight. No ideas yet, but based on how damn aroused I am getting just by writing this and thinking back to last night, I have no doubt that buckets will be involved.

A compass to navigate through the storm

What I have found surprising as of late is just how significant and important the pursuit and full embrace of a D/s relationship has become for L and I. There are some major and tragic life events underway that I won't share here that had me thinking last week that perhaps this was not the best time to continue down this road. We both agreed that any change in course at this time would be akin to disastrous to our relationship and upset the balance we have achieved. Our relationship has had its up and downs over the last couple of years, as all relationships tend to be. But with this new direction we have reached an even plateau. Our confidence in each other, in this relationship, in where we are going, has never been stronger.

Embracing a D/s lifestyle and discovering new things about ourselves, hidden sides of ourselves that are just now being unleashed, has been empowering. It has provided us with a compass to navigate through the storm, presenting itself to us as something concrete and stable to hold on to. I have no doubts that L has given herself to me, mind, body, and soul --- completely. Never before has my love of L been stronger, and each and every night when we fall asleep, her resting her head on my chest as I caress her back, I slumber with the knowledge that this is for life. This is for life.

The other side of the tail

I asked L to write about last night from her perspective, here is what she had to say. I told her that these writing assignments are good for her, that the personal reflection that it encompasses is a healthy thing to do:

Writing assignments are not my forte.....especially one that is about something so....personal.....ugh.

 

So I had mixed feelings about anal sex with S.  As he said, it has to happen as part of total domination and well, he can if he wants too.  I wasn't too worried as he promised he would go slow and stop when asked which he did for the most part.  Ho boy, it wasn't him I was worried about, it was his size that concerned me.  While I didn't find it awful I would rather it not be a everyday part of our sex life (stupid period!).

 

I think a large part of it is just trying to relax and let him go.....which I have to do a lot anyways and am getting better at not flinching or making any sounds.  I find myself sitting on my hands a lot which helps me get into submissive mode.