freedom

I think one of the joys of a D/s relationship is the tremendous amount of freedom it allows for.

It would be easy to think/say that the Dom is the only one who gets the freedom. After all, the world is his oyster. He gets to pick and choose what he wants his sub to do, use her in any manner that he sees fit. He is free to do with her as he pleases.

But subs have their freedom as well, and maybe even more so. Yes, being able to do whatever you want has an aspect of freedom to it, but then again, so does having to do whatever you are told to do. Lack of choice…or, rather, not worrying about having to choose can be just as liberating as the one calling the shots. This of course is why balance is such an essential structure of a healthy D/s relationship.

The most significant freedom for a sub, though, is the freedom of absolute and complete sexuality. Here’s what I mean. There are certain things I do with L that she would never ask me to do. Things she would never confess to enjoying. I do things to her, in her words, that ladies are not supposed to want to have done to them or enjoy doing them. By giving me the decision-making when it comes to all sexual matters, I have given her freedom from those concerns. She does not have to worry if what she is doing/craving would be considered “lady like” because she simply has no say in the matter, she does what is my bidding and that is that.

I suppose in some ways it is a double bonus. She gets the knowledge that she is pleasing me, and if what we do makes her drip (as it usually does), then, you know, winning!

I don’t believe I have ever managed to get her to confess to a fantasy of any kind, though I have relayed many of them and a good number of them we have worked on. Others will be worked on when the moment presents itself.  Do these fantasies I have mirror ones that L has? Maybe. She won’t admit though, just bow her head and say “Whatever you want, Sir” while, down below, there is a good likelihood that a wet spot is forming on the front of her panties in anticipation of what I want.

Because maybe, just maybe, Miss Pristine wants it as well.

There are times I want to grab the back of her hair, bring her to her knees, and command her to tell me. To bring out her darkest fantasies. Maybe she is already living then, but maybe there are others.  I want to make her confess to things she wants to do..with me…perhaps with others. I want her to speak of cocks and cunts, of cum and come, of pain and pleasure. Bring it all out of her, let it all roll out her mouth befoe my desire from her words overcomes me, and then no more words come out of her mouth…they won’t be able, because I will be fucking it.

I could do those things, of course. Make her tell me…everything. I have started a new ritual on Thursday called “Tell All Thursday” where she has to answer any question.

I could do all of those things.

But then again, why take her freedom away from her?

Sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if I think about all of these...things...too much.

Today is one of those days. I have an exceptionally busy day at work, crisis issues to deal with, reporters to call, plenty of things to do and that should command 100 percent of my attention, and I am getting those things done, and well, but in the back of my mind I seem to constantly be thinking about....things.

You know what I mean.

Things with L, like fucking and caning, choking and flogging. L on her knees while I fuck her mouth. L bent over the bed, her ass raised for me, and I slam inside of her hard, grabbing her hair while I fuck her mercilessly.

I'm thinking also about...ropes. I would like to do more with ropes with L. The other night I used some rope around her breasts for the first time, and in looking at some of the fabulous BDSM photos on Tumblr, there are so many techniques I would like to do with rope and L.

I'm thinking there is a yardstick in the house that I saw the other day and that it would make a marvelous spanking implement.

I'm thinking that I am thinking about these things a little too much today.

I expressed my horniness to my pet, and she offered to come pick me up at work, and we could probably drive over to some secluded place and she could suck me off. That would be possible, and I could certainly command that or anything else. I could command L to take the rest of the afternoon off and meet me at home in bed. I have the power to do any of these things, really, and a willing and eager sub who would do them.

But then there are these phone calls to make, and this report to finish up, so I think, for now, I will do that, and if I have to get up from my desk to go out and talk to someone, I, ahem, "adjust" myself accordingly and go do so.

In some ways, these almost constant sexual feelings energize me throughout the day. It's like caffeine.  It fuels me during the day, really, with the knowledge that those things I want to do will soon be here at the end of the day.

Fortunately, today is a day I get off at a decent hour (been working until 9, 10, or so the last three nights) so when I get home from work I'm taking L into the bedroom, we will lock the door, turn the tv up, and I will take whatever items of clothing off of her I have to allow me access inside of the cunt that I own. I'm thinking (once again) of just pulling pants down, and sliding her panties off to the side. Just enough to do what I need to. Just enough to penetrate her.

We will do that, reassemble ourselves, and go about our evening.

But something tells me that it won't be long after that that I will start thinking about...things...once again.

Good girl

I don't know if it was because of some of the comments to my last posting, or the fact that we had had a few, or if I just got out of the shower, or if she knew it would really please me, but last night L rimmed me in an exceptionally fine manner.

Ahh. It's good to be king!

On rimming and other taboo matters

In yesterday’s post on the Wheel of Misfortune I lightly touched upon the subject of rimming as something I enjoy L doing with me. We’ve done it a few times, nothing really extensively, and each time has been after a night out on the town and both of our inhibitions are significantly lowered (odd to even say that, since, if you read our blog, we clearly lack in any kind of inhibitions with each other!)

I enjoy it. I’ve also enjoyed the times we have tried experimenting with L massaging my prostate, and we have never quite gotten there, at least not to the level that I have read about where men have described in having some highly explosive orgasms as a result.

Not only do I enjoy it, I have no issue with the fact that I enjoy it, which seems to be a sticking point for hetero men who think it is wrong to get enjoyment in that taboo part of their body. I no more worry about the taboo of that particular act then I do of the taboos of everything else I do with L. Last night I allowed her to touch herself while I put my hand under her collar. As she touched herself, I would pull the collar tight and completely cut off her breath. Then release. I kept doing this, and managed to time the final one right before she came, pulling it as tight as I could, then releasing just as she released, a combination of orgasm and gasping for air.

That’s pretty taboo. Some people might take issue with that particular act, but quite frankly, I don’t care.

I’m secure and confident in all that I do with L, my lovely little sub who unlocked my twisted mind. If one concerns themselves with any type of concept of norms, they ought not to be in a D/s relationship. D/s relationships and the world of BDSM rewrite the definition of norms, we throw them out the window and we create our own that suit our lifestyle, our desires, and our needs.

So back to rimming.

Are there others out there who engage in it? I am curious to know what some of my readers have to say and what their experience is.

I find it a rather Dominant act, to be honest. There is the sensation of it that I enjoy, but also in the significance of the act itself, to have my pet’s head and tongue down there, doing something that I enjoy, while with one hand she strokes me. Or I stroke myself to leave her at the task at hand.

I like the rawness of the act.

I like raw with L.

I let L off the hook the other night when the Wheel of Misfortune chose rimming me as her activity. Yes, it would be the polite thing to do to completely shower ahead of time. As far as it falling into the category of things she really dislikes (the L trifecta of dislikes which includes swallowing, being fucked up the ass, and rimming her Sir), well, as D commented below, “rules are rules.” Last night when I got home I grabbed the contract and reminded L of the following item:

a)    The submissive will always respond to the sexual needs of the Dominant at any time in any manner that he sees fit, unless responding to His needs violates any other aspect of this contract. This includes engaging in sexual activities with the Dominant that might be outside of her comfort zone but she will do them as they please her Sir.

We are still working on some things, clearly, two years later. It’s fine I enjoy the pushing and pulling I have to do with L to get out of her all of the things that I pleasure and desire, with the freedom that no matter what those things are, I could care less about what the rest of the world might think.

Wheel of Misfortune

I suppose, if anything, I am a creative person. My job requires that I have a certain amount of creativity to it, so it is natural that that particular skill would carry over to my personal life, and, in particular, my D/s relationship with L.

And what better place to get creative than in matters pertaining to sex? I’ve had some very satisfying times in this arena with L. It’s a grand time to be able to think outside of the box for things that I want to do inside of L’s box.

Sorry. I could not resist.

Last night we tried out a new idea of mine. At my job I was looking for a web program that would allow me to enter in a bunch of names into a “wheel” that would be spun so that a name could be selected randomly. It was for the purpose of an employee contest.

The first time I tried it, I realized that this had potential.

So I created the “Wheel of Misfortune” (though as it turned out for L, there was really no misfortune) where I entered in a list of sexual activities. The list included caning for a certain number of times, L sucking on me, me using the Hitachi for L, my choice, L’s choice…to name a few. There were around 15 total.

We tried it out last night. I ordered L naked and collared and I got on the bed with her, naked as well. I set the laptop up on the bed, opened the program up, and commanded L to give the wheel of misfortune a spin.

Round and round and round…

With the first spin it landed on “Rimming Sir for five minutes.” I don’t think I have really touched upon this subject before on the blog, it is an activity we don’t do that often but one I enjoy. It’s not one that L enjoys. So when it landed on it, she immediately started begging her way out of it. Saying she couldn’t do it unless she had a few drinks first, or unless I had gotten out of the shower. She begged and pleaded, so I smacked her on the side of the head, gave her one pass, and said fine, spin again.

Round and round and round…

This time it landed on “Pussy spanking for five minutes.” Which was fine by me. Not so much by her, but she of course obliged. L opened her legs and I started off with patting her sex, then worked it up until it was a little harder. It wasn’t long into it until what I was spanking was wet and L was moaning and squirming underneath me. I reminded her that she was not allowed to come during any of these activities that the wheel chose, the exception being  the rather specific “Pet comes.”

She made it through the five minutes without coming.

Just barely.

Spin again, I told her.

Round and round and round…

“Pet masturbates on AFF for five minutes” was the next one, which meant L had to masturbate on webcam for Adult Friend Finder. She tried to protest, but knew that after the first one, she wasn’t going to get away with anything. I opened up the laptop, logged into our profile, situated the camera on the laptop so it was facing L’s cunt, and started the broadcast.

“Do it.” I said. “Touch yourself.”

And she did, getting her fingers wet with her mouth (which drives me insane) and then applying it to her clit, running around it in a circular fashion. I watched the action on the computer screen, and then the number of viewers started popping up, along with some comments over the action they were watching.

L said she was going to have a hard time doing that without coming, so again I reminded her of what she had to do. I let her ease off of the masturbation a bit and instructed her to spread herself open, and then moved the camera even closer so others could admire the soaking wet pussy that I owned.

L was a mess by the end of that five minutes.

Spin again, I told her.

Round and round and round…

“Pet Comes.”

Lucky girl.

It was at my choosing what would be done to make L come, and after the aforementioned scene, I was quite eager to taste what I had just observed. So I got in between her legs, spread her open, and darted in with my tongue, making direct contact with her clit.

“It’s not going to take me long,” she said, in a moaning whisper.

She was right. Two to three well placed licks later, she came hard against my face.

I got up from her.

“Spin again,” I said.

That spinning resulted in the cane for 50 strikes, which then led to me using the Hitachi on her for five minutes without coming. Then…lucky girl!...it was “Pet’s choice” and she chose to use the Hitachi some more while she sucked on me.

Spinning was done after that, this whole delicious affair had me rock hard, and so I fucked her and came hard myself. Lying next to each other after that, we caught our breath, and then…I was ready again. (this doesn’t happen that often, especially given that it was almost midnight after a long work day). So I fucked her again, having her do most of the work in grinding against me. This was followed by allowing my insatiable little slut touch herself, which was followed by….passing out from both of us. Satisfied from a very fun and sexy night.

Eat your heart out, Pat Sajak.

p.s. The web program can be found here. http://wheeldecide.com

If your create you own, let me know what activities you use to populate your wheel.

So I have been nominated...

....not once, not twice, but four times for the Liebster Blog Award, and with each nomination, comes a set of rules and questions to answer, and responding is the courteous thing to do, but in due time. Only so many hours in the day, and I don't want to take away from important tasks, such as caning and fucking my pet. I'm sure you understand.

I will start with Desireous from the blog Starting from Scratch, who posed the following questions. I will get around to the other ones as well as nominating others for the award, but it will take some time. In a previous posting, I did list off 10 random things about me, so that is going to have to suffice. I realize there are rules to follow in this contest, but I am a Dominant, so I can make some rules as well.

(and thank you for the nominations, btw. I continue to be surprised by our readers and followers, and am glad that whatever words L and i throw out here for you to read...both the good ones and the bad ones...offer you some guidance and inspiration as you, like us, float down the wonderful river of kink.)

1. What is the hottest most sexiest moment in your life that you can recall?

It was with L...of course. But oddly, well before we entered a D/s relationship. It was our first vacation together, and we went to a hot springs in Alberquerque where we had our own private hot springs surrounded by a fence. We ended up fucking in the hot springs and I remember afterwards lying there in lounge chairs, and I kept reaching over and touching L's pussy, and the sun was beating down on us, and I never wanted that moment in time to end. That night was the first night we also told each other that we loved each other. 

2.What is your favorite sexual activity?
Hmmm. So many! I would say right now it is when L sucks on me. She is so good at it. Amazing. A queen among cockworshipping subs. It takes a recital of several baseball statistics to refrain from just exploding in her mouth. On the more taboo side that cause the blood to rush to my head are knife play, breath play, and piss play, the latter that I want do more of with L.

3. Ever been in love? Those of you already blogging about being in love have you ever been in love with anyone else?
I am very much in love right now with my partner for the rest of my life, the strongest feelings of love I have ever had someone are the ones I have for L. I was in love before...I was married before...but it was early on in the relationship and not remotely comparable to what I feel for L. She's my oxygen that I breathe to get through life. (Questions like this aren't fair to ask, because L can't stand the thought of me ever having been with someone else.)

4.What is the most important quality for a person you are having a relationship with to have?
Honesty.

5.What attracts you to another?
A sense of humor. Kindness. Honest. Comfortable and open with their sexuality, willing to explore, and a wonderful talent for giving head. I have just described L.

6. Have you ever had a threesome or multiple partners at a time?
L and I had a MWM threesome back in December, which I have blogged about. I had a MWW before being with her that didn't really go over too well. Long story there. I am interested in doing both with L, surprisingly, the MWM more so because I like to share her in that manner. Even with an MWW with her, the fantasy in my mind doesn't even involve me touching the other woman, just watching L and her, me commanding every single touch and lick between them with canings from me  to encourage them, then the other woman cleaning L up after I came inside of her. (I know this question didn't ask for any fantasies, but you got me going!)

7. What is one thing you like to do in your free time?
Lounging in bed with L on a Saturday morning and watching some stupid old movie on TV from the 80s. 

8. Do you write any other blogs?

I do not.

9.Do you like to kiss?
Very much so. When L and I were first dating, I wasn't that good at it. I think she would agree I have gotten way better and can now, as she says it, "maker her stomach pit out."

10. Do you identify as a writer?
Ever since age five. It has been the one thing constant in me in a life that has not been very consistent.

11. What inspired you to begin writing your blog? (stole that from Atiyaluv) 
I think I was looking for some kind of writing outlet. The blog started on the same day we started our D/s relationship.

Happy Anniversary

L and I celebrated our second anniversary in our D/s relationship this weekend. Anniversary celebrations are odd of L and I, as it is often times hard to choose which date is the best one to celebrate our time together. There is the date we first made contact online. There is the date we first made contact physically. There is the date we reconnected after a separation. Then there is the date we signed the contract. Confusing. Once we are married, that will be our anniversary moving forward. For now, the anniversary I acknowledge with L is when I first collared and leashed her.

This weekend marked the two year anniversary of us being in a D/s relationship, as well as the two year anniversary of this blog. A lot has happened in the last two years. This anniversary, and the resigning of our contract, was much more significant then the last two, because of an important difference in our relationship, which I emailed L about on Friday:

"The resigning of the contract this weekend will be different than the last times, because if will be the first time signing it that you will not be married. There is significance in that. We go into this next year without that shadow, without that stress, over our head. It really will be...just us, and the only distractions will be our youngest saying he is thirsty at 11p.m. just when I am restraining you to the bed."

Shortly after L signed her contract with me, we were dealt with a rather significant speedbump to our relationship when L's husband was diagnosed with cancer, and she grappled over being in a D/s relationship with me over having to care for him. As she told me in an email, maybe it wasn't right for her to sign a contract with me when she still had the "till death to us part" contract signed with someone else.

It caused us a lot of grief, a lot of confusion and angst. Hurtful things were said as we tried to grapple with this emotional quandary.

That was then, this is now, and as I stated above, the resigning of the contract this year was much different than it has been in the past. There is no distraction, there is no someone else to get in the way of US. For me, it makes a difference. A HUGE difference. Hard to completely own someone if in the eyes of the court she belongs to someone else on another level. When, at the end of the day, the woman I claim to own as my pet is the wife of another man. It used to mess me up big time.

So we had our anniversary, and it was rather low key compared to last year. I revised the contract to better reflect things as they are now. I added goals for both of us for the next year, which I have listed below.

I like the last one for me. I cannot wait to propose to L, but I in particular cannot wait until we are married and she has my last name. For me, that will be the icing on the cake of our D/s relationship. Total and complete ownership. When, during the day L will wear on her finger a ring that signifies she belongs to me, and it will be coupled at night with a collar around her neck that only elevates that ownership.

GOALS FOR THE SUBMISSIVE FOR THE NEXT YEAR

1.     To be able to swallow Sir’s cum

2.     To stop smoking completely

3.     To get into better physical shape and maintain physical fitness throughout the year

4.     To regularly shave Sir’s cunt and keep it to an acceptable appearance.

5.     To continue working on her patience.

GOALS FOR THE DOMINANT FOR THE NEXT YEAR

1.     To get into better physical shape and maintain physical fitness throughout the year

2.     To continue to improve on consistency.

3.     To propose to his submissive