Weekend with my slut, part II

I'm wishing now I had written about what went on this weekend much sooner than today, as so much went on...some very great things to report on...that I lost track of them in terms of giving you the best of details.

It was a great weekend. What can I say. Things flowed nicely, we had a lot of time to spend together, there was a natural rhythm to all that we did. Not just in the bedroom. L's youngest son had a birthday party on Saturday, and most of our day that day was spent working together to prepare and run the party, and that had a nice flow to it. I suppose that one is a little hard to explain; but it's situations like that when I realize how good we are together and what a good future we have ahead of us.

Anyway, back to the kinky shit, because that is why you are all here.

There were a lot of things that took place in the bedroom. Sessions lasting more than two hours on Friday and Saturday night. The aforementioned visit to my place when L showed up wearing fishnet stockings (not for long) and presenting me with her collar and some of our toys.  L spent a lot of time collared with her ass raised up (she does that so well now) and received numerous upon numerous strikes from the cane and flogger. 2,500 on Saturday night alone, and she finally has the bruises to show for our hard work. We discovered ways to incorporate the Hitachi into the bedroom (her riding me while I press the Hitachi up against her clit works quite well).

I think the big thing about the weekend was that I was in control more than ever, and that worked perfectly for us. As L herself has said in this blog, she has a tendency to top from the bottom and I have typically let her do so. Not so this weekend, and not so now. Her attempts to control the situation were quickly extinguished by me. My verbal commands were direct, stern and immediate. My physical commands were forceful. She was a soaking mess in my hands, a pussy beyond wet while on my end, I had no problem rising to the occasion. Multiple times.

So, a lot went on, and while I can't exactly lie out a specific session for you, I can give you a glimpse of some of the scenes. There was Saturday night when I dragged a collared L off of the bed and over in front of the full length of the mirror and had her get on my knees while I fucked her face and watched in the mirror. There was Sunday at my place when after giving her a length spanky session downstairs, I forced her upstairs and out on the outside balcony where I had her bend over and hold on to the balcony while I spanked her more and then fucked her from behind, which ended with me pulling out and coming all over her ass, barely covered by her torn fishnet stockings.

Yeah, I know. Hot.

It was a great weekend for us, so much needed and so definitely satisfying for the two of us. We pushed our limits together, we found the place we need to be as a couple, and it was very good indeed.

SirB said in a comment on the spanking video: "You've got a good girl there."

My response to that?

I don't just have a good girl.

I have the very best there is.

wet

Friday while we were both at work I sent L a text saying I had the urge to make her wet while she was sitting at her desk so I wrote the following and emailed it to her.

It worked.

******

I love your wetness.

I wish there was a way to describe how exhilarating it is when I start a session with you and I reach under you, dipping a finger in your pussy, and finding you soaking wet. Part of it is a sense of pride, knowing that I did that to you, and only I can do that to you, get you so aroused..dripping...with my touch...my words.

I love getting you wet during the day while you are at work. I imagine a wet spot visible on your panties. I imagine you shifting around on your seat because of the tingling feeling running throughout your pussy. I imagine you getting so wet you have to make your way to the bathroom where you pull down your pants and panties to wipe out. 

Saying that, I imagine myself walking in on you in that bathroom..your panties around your ankle...and standing in front of you and commanding you to take my cock out and suck on it, and I fuck your mouth, right there in the stall, while your fingers work their way over your clit, using the juices from your pussy for lubrication.

When we are in a session and I discover how wet you are, I have to control myself to focus on the task at hand...spanking you, taking you to subspace...and not flipping you over on your back, spreading your legs and diving into your wetness with my tongue, taking it all in, devouring it...devouring you. 

Then when I do fuck you...that initial moment of struggle to force my way in soon gives way, and I am all the way inside you, where you are warm and moist and feel like heaven, your tightness squeezing me, your juices aiding my thrusting. 

I love it when I come deep inside of you, and there is that mix of the two of us...that feeling and smell of fucking, raw and passionate.

I love your wetness.

******

Weekend with my slut

Well, that was then....this is now.

To say that this weekend was no comparison whatsoever to last weekend is an understatement. And, in some ways, this weekend was no comparison to any other weekend L and I have had in our D/s relationship. Granted, we have had some REALLY good weekends, and ya'll have read about them here on this blog, but this weekend was...different.

As L stated below, we started having some really frank and honest conversations about how things had been between us, not just from the Weekend in Hell, but in general, of some things that weren't working right in our D/s relationship. I took these conversations to heart and knew that while it would take both of us to correct these things, the real responsibility was in my hands.

So midweek last week we started working on things, more seriously than ever. I escalated my Dominance with her, paying even more attention to my words and how I followed through on them. And the escalation of my Dominance in turn escalated L's submission. It wasn't just in the bedroom, but just in other things during the day. Me being much more sterner and giving her clear and strongly worded directives during the day (for instance, the below posting was written only after I sent L an email saying "I didn't ask you. I told you.", which she confessed the next day that it made her wet....).

Things started going quite well, and Friday (Fucktoy Friday in our house, where L leaves the house in the morning with the word "Fuck toy" written on her and she has to perform kegel exercises at the top of every hour and report to me when they are done...among other things...) and we were having our typical exchange of sexual comments via email when I mentioned something to her about treating her like a slut.

Her response?

L: I think you still have a hard time doing that...treating me like a slut.
S: Maybe that needs to change.
L: Maybe...think you have it in you?

Silly girl.

If past experience has shown her anything, her asking the question "Think you have it in you?" has always resulted in the discovery that yes, I do have it in me. And as I write this, I am realizing that she more than likely intentionally threw that out there, to push my buttons.

In my past life, many years ago, I was a competitive runner who loved to do marathons. I loved the challenge of them, the physical as well as the mental aspect of competing in such a grueling endeavor. I loved to push myself, the self-discipline it took to run 26.2 miles. It made me feel good.

So taking on challenges is certainly nothing new to me, and with confidence with what L and I were doing at an all time high, I was more than ready...eager...to take on the challenge of what she had thrown out at me.

S: I thought we were long past you asking me "Do you have it in you?"
L: I was only kidding! After the first golden shower, all doubts were erased.
S: Too late. You issued a challenge, and I will happily accept it.

And so we ventured into the weekend of the slut...

More to come.

(So to speak)

L responds

Here is L's response to what I wrote about this last weekend. She had an earlier response that she liked much better but it got swallowed up by the Internet gods. I disagree with her that this one "sucks" as there is no such as thing when it comes to what one says in the blogging world. Certainly gives much better insight than my posting into how this weekend went.

***********

S really "glossed" over the bad this weekend.  We did manage to get through it though and are stronger than before.  More open honest communicating. 

 

In a early posting S had asked me what it was about D/s that appealed to me and my answer (which surprised him) was there was no more doubt.  This weekend brought it all crashing down for me.  When I received the highly intoxicated "FuckYou" text I felt like my world stopped.  I couldnt breath.  Made me doubt my choices.  I felt so angry, alone and unloved.....and a bit like a fool.  Have I made another bad decision?  S of course felt bad and we were able to get past it.....then on Sunday things got even more shitty.    We have been atop shit mountain for so long, we really dont need to add to it.

 

On Monday, we were as vanilla as you could be.  I was wishing for a kind of punishment for a Dom so we could move on even.  You know, like when I get punished, we do it and its over, we dont bring it up again.  S even offered to let me cane him but I just couldn't.  There was no way I was submitting to him (although a vanilla blow job was given....couldn't help myself).  After many emails and conversations, we have actually ramped things up.  We were open and honest with each other.....I told him how I felt and he how he had been feeling....we discussed what changes were needed. 

 

Even with all that we do, I was not feeling very submissive at all.   Things were inconsistent which drives me crazy.  Small changes which are helping us get to where we want/need to be.  S has me kneel before him in the mornings when I bring him his coffee which believe it or not is more effective than 100 whacks from the cane in getting me in the right mindset.   

 

Oh, and if you haven't bought a Hitachi, run, run to the nearest store NOW! 

 

 

(my original comment was waaay longer and waaay better.  This one just sucks)

Pure love, plain and simple

Where to begin, I suppose...the weekend that I talked about in the last posting did not go as planned, not anywhere close, and it was, by any definition, just a really, really bad weekend. For me, finding the reason why it went so poorly is simple as looking in the mirror. I fucked up. Plain and simple.

I don't care to elaborate on the details too much, because the good thing is that despite that fuck up on my end and some very emotional interactions between L and I...even heated words at times...we have managed, once again, to climb out from yet another mess and find ourselves back in a good place, I dare say better than before, and our ability to do that was because of open and honest communication, a must in any successful relationship.

I think any man who assumes the role of being a Dominant is in some way, a complex man. There is nothing simple about a Dominants desire to do the things that he does, just as there is nothing simple about s submissive's desire to do the things that she does. It is a mix of so many different components --- psychological, sexual, emotional, etc. --- that often times compete against each other, each one trying to rise to the top.

It's a complex relationship, but absolutely beautiful at the same time. In the case of L and I, we are trying to sort our way through it while navigation other complications in our lives. Those other complications, particularly on my end and how I reacted to them, are what caused last weekend to turn to shit.

I talked about in the last posting how last weekend was going to be a pushing of limits, and it did turn out that way....just not in the bedroom and not with a cane.

This beautiful woman that I have the good fortune of crawling into bed with each night, she and I, well, we have been through a lot, my readers. The blog has not told our whole story. We'd like to keep some things to ourselves, thank you very much.

I don't think there are a lot of couple out there who could have weathered the storms we have traveled through and still be standing, but she and I are. I have talked before about how important D/s has been to help us do that, but at the same time, it is something more than that. What that thing is is pure love, plain and simple. And like so many other people who are in love, other people who, like us, are a little messed up at times, we make mistakes and we don't treat each other as if we are so in love.

But it is there always.

Pure love.

Plain and simple.

p.s. Yesterday I bought a Hitachi for L and last night we took it for a test drive. I'll talk about that in my next posting..I promise!

Going longer...going further

Email exchange between S and L this morning:

S

Last night was perfect.I know you could have taken a lot more...1,500 could have turned into 2,000, and 2,000 could have turned into 2,500, and you would have been gone baby, gone. But it was getting late, you needed your sleep, and I really, really wanted to fuck your brains out.

L

Can we go longer....further...this weekend when you are rested?  Please......

I don't necessarily know yet how far is too far...how long is too long. Could 1,500 turn into 2,000, could 2,00 turn into 2,500?

What is her limit?

Hell, for that matter, what is MY limit?

One can simply attach a number, attach a time limit to it, and leave it at that. But I am thinking, numerical values don't work in this situation. It's not the proper way to base a stopping point (though necessary at times, especially on work nights). What that stopping point is transcends the numerical and delves into the mental, emotional and sexual nature of what all of "this" transpires.

We will go longer this weekend.

We will go further this weekend.

And come Monday, I will let you readers know how far.

The things that we do

It’s easy sometimes when you get caught up in something new and exciting…something that adds a breath of fresh air to your life, a smile to your face, a race of the pulse….that all you want to do is focus on that and nothing else, in particular, the mundane and the boring, and, even more so, the things in your life that are not so pleasant.

L and I have both talked before about how at times we have felt that we were on top of Shit Mountain because of certain things happening in our lives, not necessarily connected to the two of us but at the same time, very much connected.

2013 got off to a very good start, and suffice to say, we have had less turmoil in our lives the last six months than we have at any other point. All you have to do is read back on postings since January 1 to see that that has been the case. We have been caught up in our own little world…the world, as I mentioned above, that has brought with us daily rushes of endorphins.

However, those external factors that have placed us on top of the perilous summit of Shit Mountain are, in fact, still there…we have just managed to cope with them better than we have in the past, and I think being D/s is responsible for that coping more than anything else.

The last week or so it felt, at times, we were back on the summit again. Nothing new, necessarily. The same thing, the same issues, the same situation. At one point last week we both almost texted at the same time to each other how we felt so exhausted. Not the exhaustion that comes with lack of sleep, but the exhaustion that comes with trying to deal with things that are, well, just so fucking hard at times.

Thankfully, the D/s helps us cope with that stress, though sometimes the stress impacts how we well we perform in our respective roles. We both faltered at times the last week or so, with L not being as submissive as we should have been at times and I not being as Dominant as I should have been.

When things are like that, I know it is my job between the two of us to work extra hard, go into extra innings, put us into overtime, etc., to get things under control.

So that’s what I did.

Probably the most intense example I can offer up was on Tuesday night. L had been acting up beyond her natural (and permissible) personality of just being sassy and smart with me, she was acting in a way that was quite different from before. The main one being, close to downright refusal of my sexual advancements…slapping my hand away when I tried touching her, asking to just be able to go to sleep. That’s never been an issue with the two of us before, going back to before we went D/s.

I almost chose to ignore that, along with the escalated sassiness and backtalk, because damn it, I was stressed to and wasn’t sure how much I felt like dealing with it. But I knew that ignoring it would only exacerbate the situation, and I also knew that ignoring it would send the wrong signal to L and that at some level, some of that behavior was subconsciously being done to tempt me. To see how I would handle the situation. I know she would deny that was the case, blame her attitude on stress, but I think there were elements of that added in as well.

So I let it be known to her on Tuesday that she was going to be punished.

And on Tuesday night, she was.

The punishment came in the form of the cane that she normally derives much pleasure from. The punishment came in the form of making her lie face down on the bed with her ass up. The punishment came in the form of the cane coming down on her hard…three strikes, hard, no warm up. No attempt to lull her into subspace. This was not maintenance. This was not funishment. I wanted to give her something that she would not ever want again.

And it worked.

It was the second strike that did it, that came down across her upper thigh, and the effect was immediate as she flipped over on the spot, tears running down her cheeks. I made her turn back over with her ass up, and delivered the third and final one on her ass.

She tried to withdraw after that, curled up in the fetal position, her back to me. “Let me go to sleep now please,” she said, with tears coming down, and I wasn’t prepared for that reaction, nor was I prepared for how much I certainly didn’t like doing that, how much it bothered me that it made her cry, and for a split second, part of me was just going to let her sleep and I was going to go over to my side of the bed, questioning if what I had just done was the right thing to do.

But I didn’t.

Because…well, I knew better, dammit.

I held her. I soothed her. Disallowed her to withdraw. Told her her punishment was over. Explained to her why it was done, why it was as hard as it was. I continued to hold her, gently caressing her, and then one thing led to the next, and my sullen and scarred sub had her mouth on me, and I was as hard as ever, and she was as wet as ever, and from there…you know, THAT happened.

We had conversations about it the next day, talked about what happened, told her why it happened again. I did not back down from why I did it. And last night, quite late, we were back in our bed again, and the cane came back out, and this time, it was the cane that she loved. I had given her instructions that at the end of every 100 strikes, she would say “Thank you.”

The came back out and the came down. 100 times. “Thank you.” she obediently said, and then another 100, and a thank you..and another 100…and the thank yous got quieter as she drifted off into sub space, because there was no punishment tonight. Just. This.

At 1,000 I stopped and put the cane down and rubbed her ass, dipped into her seemingly always present wetness. “Please,” she said.

“Please what?” I said. “Do you want more?”

“Yes please,” she said. “Just a few more.”

That few more was 500 without a stop in between each one, without a stop after each 100. I looked over at the clock and looked back at her. There could have been 500 more. A 1,000 more.

But it was late, and the lack of sleep was one of the reasons we had stress, so it was time to move on. The collar came out. The leash came out. She was collared and leashed, something we don’t do nearly enough, and using the leash, I guided her over to my cock and she was on it, sucking, stroking, feverishly devouring it, and my desire for her…my desire to FUCK her was strong, so using the leash I guided her off of me and on to her knees, ass up, and I slid inside of her.

Her orgasm was immediate, and then she tightened up on me (those Friday orders to hourly Kegel exercises were paying off) and there was no sense in me holding back, and I came exceptionally hard inside of her with an orgasm that didn’t seem to end.

It was good.

It was what we love.

It was what we need.

It is what keeps us going, adds a breath of fresh air to our lives, puts a smile on our face, a race of the pulse.

And for the moment, makes the summit of Shit Mountain seem so far, far away.