Monday, November 23, 2015


To quote Adele, hello.

It certainly has been a great deal of time since I last posted to this blog, more than two months.  I would like to say, as a followup to my last posting, that my time has been preoccupied with implementing a strict daily work out routine and since my last posting, have returned to a top shape, physically healthy body.

I would like to say that...but I can't.

No, my lack of posting has had more to do with the last month and a half preoccupied with an intense travel schedule for my job that has had me away from home more than I have been around it. Which is a difficult endeavor for any relationship to navigate, and I think that is especially true when D/s dynamics are involved. One moment I am around as the HOH, the one in charge, and then I am gone, and without me around, L has to become the one in charge, not to mention feeling somewhat lost (despite the fact that she is a very strong and independent woman) without my guidance.

We try to set up rules and guidelines while I am gone, little routine matters, but even that becomes difficult when the separation is thousands of miles and in completely opposite time zones. During one of my trips L came out and stated flatly that she could not do the D/s dynamics while I was gone, that she did not like the idea of being controlled from afar. For me, having that dynamic exist no matter the distance was something I held on to while on those trips, her gestures of submission from afar helped me get through the day.

I came back from that trip, we worked through some things, but less than a week later I was off again for another trip. This one was different as part way through L was able to join me in Beijing and we had a much needed 10 day vacation.

We reconnected quite well during that vacation, had an amazing time together, though, interestingly enough, the D/s dynamics were not front and center. It is odd that when we are on vacation and we have these marvelous hotel rooms with no kids around that our sessions would become longer and more intensive...neighbors be damned!...but that is rarely the case. The dynamics are there, but behind the scenes, playing a small but important role in how we go about our day to day lives as opposed to what happens in the bedroom. As we reflected on on this last trip, we did not bicker once, and even after sitting next to each other on an airplane for close to 15 hours, the first thing we wanted to do when we got home was to still be together.

The D/s dynamics might not have been there so much in the bedroom while on vacation, but they certainly resurfaced once we got home, and almost immediately. Saturday night we had a session that lasted more than two hours, starting off with L joining me in the shower for a long overdue act of me marking my territory as she kneeled before me and I coated her with my piss. That act right there, I think, turned a switch on for the two of us that led up to the two hour session that followed, with even after that, had L begging for more. Wanting it all. Needing it all. Arching her neck up to me, wanting the feeling of my hand wrapped around it, squeezing her, taking away her right to breathe while my other hand explored the wetness that was so prevalent this weekend. We discovered that the handle end of my whip, complete with little spikes, made a far more effective spanking tool than the whip end did. Yesterday afternoon, while lying in bed together, L joked that she was going to develop wrinkles around her mouth for sucking on me so much this weekend, only seconds before her head disappeared under the covers and I was back in her mouth for the umpteenth time.

We discovered a couple of things, I think, this weekend, but mostly we rediscovered each other and why TTWD is so important to us.

So why doesn't TTWD get ramped up in the privacy of hotel rooms, away from the kids, away from life? I think it is because we are in need of that structure at home more than on vacation; TTWD guides us through our day to day life and all of those tedious items, work, bills, kids...etc.  It's our structure during a time when structure is needed for both of us. Away from home, away from "all of this", it isn't so much. As I said, it is there...but on a different level.

But there nonetheless, and, as always, an important part of who we are.