Once upon a time the Dominant who writes this blog had the body you see above.
It wasn't even that long ago, really. This picture was taken a little over three years ago. L had gone on a camping trip with her friends, and, in what might be a tad bit narcissistic, I snapped this picture and emailed it to her to let her know what she was missing back home.
This was not the body I had for most of my life. Most of my life I was pretty scrawny, thanks to a high metabolism and being a marathon runner. About six months before this picture was taken, I started hitting the gym on a regular basis, trading in the treadmill for the weights. The results were surprisingly quick, and I found great personal reward in sticking to a strict schedule, pushing myself, and being pleased with the results.
And L, of course, didn't mind it at all.
Flash ahead to this photo, taken just a few minutes ago by L:
I have put on close to 50 pounds in three years, ballooning up to a weight that I thought would never be possible on me. For most of my adult life, my waist size matched my inseam (32/32) and over the course of the last three years I watched that change, and pants that once fit me comfortably left the confines of my closet and made their way to the local thrift store. 32 went to 34, 34 to 36, and 36 to 38, where it has stayed for the last year.
And the belly...good lord, the belly. It was never something I possessed before, but these days it is evident, serving as a punching bag for my youngest boys and a punch line for my oldest.
Suffice to say, going to the gym is something I no longer do, and the running shoes I own rarely make an appearance. I also was not fully living with L back then, and would actually sometimes forget to eat. Nowadays, I reside with a woman who can cook as well as she can fuck (and she fucks damn good) and I wolf down whatever she places on my plate in the dining room just as eagerly as I wolf down what she presents to me in our bedroom.
I don't take a lot of pride in the direction my body has gone. I don't like the feeling of putting on a pair of pants that I can no longer squeeze into, of getting easily tired from strenuous activity, and of stepping on the scale and seeing new numbers emerge. Most importantly, I don't like how my weight gain resulted as a lack of self-discipline, and as a Dominant, aren't we supposed to be all about self-discipline? When L signed our original contract, one of the stipulations was that I would dictate her diet and give guidance on exercise; that has been left to the wayside since I do not believe in the motto "Do as I say, not as I do."
A Dominant does not have to be the perfect physical specimen. True Dominance comes from mental strength, not physical appearance. And L professes to have no qualms about my body whatsoever; that she still finds all of me quite desirable (and it has by no means had any impact on our sex life).
Still..still. It is something I want to improve upon, more so after seeing the above picture L took of me. So, moving ahead, after tonight, I am going to do just that. This blog post was more or less nothing more than a step towards motivation, and that seeing the before and after picture above would be kick in the ass to get me going.
We shall see. It's all up to me, right? Meanwhile....my squirmy little pet who took the picture of me naked apparently liked what she saw enough that she is quite eager for her session, so I will go tend to that.
And the good news? I will burn some calories in the process.