Tuesday, August 18, 2015

We are still here

As I wrote the in last posting, it occurred to me that I have not contributed to his blog anywhere close to the amount that I used to. These days a month goes by before I make an appearance with my words.

Silence does not signify lack of activity in the world of S and L; as one point, in the beginning, silence was reflection of the turmoil that once plagued our relationship. Plagues exist no longer, our life is one of peace and happiness and it is good, indeed.

My words come out in my daily memos to L, of which I never falter from. Every workday she is treated to a memo from me, sometimes short, other times lengthy. I do not falter from this, never have in the more than three years we have been D/s. They are daily during the work week, and everyday when I travel. I do not falter, and I expect her to read them and reply. Not replying is a major infraction. I have no patience for my memos being ignored, especially since L is emphatic about clinging to my words, about cherishing them. I do not forget to send her my memos; I am damn clear in my expectations that she NEVER forget to reply to them.

We are still here, doing what we do. Not as often as we used to. Sometimes there are nights, where, not only do we not have a session, we also don't have sex. Those nights are rare.

The sessions are not as needed as much as they once were, when our relationship was hungry for structure, was clinging to the D/s dynamic like two people grabbing on to a lifeboat in a tumultuous sea.

But still...

But still...

We cannot go too long. Two, three nights at most. More than that, we get out of whack. L acts up. I get antsy. Things are off balance. Two, three nights at most. I then bring things back around, in the only way I know how.

The last two nights have been extraordinary, with my Dominance in overdrive and her submissiveness in full force. So many delightful things have taken place. The other night, her with her hands bound behind her in bondage tape, clad in a skimpy negligee, on her knees in front of the full length mirror as I gagged her with my cock. Last night, as she held her breasts together as I slapped at them harder! and harder! with my hands, wanting to bruise them, wanting to hurt her, as I told her what a cock sucking whore she was as she whimpered in agreement, her juices dripping down her thigh in anticipation of the fucking that was yet to come.

We have ebbs and flows, ups and downs, like any couple, but during the downs, we fret not because we know how to bring back the ups. We are not the same S and L that embarked on this journey in May 2012; we are so much more confident in who we are, what we do, and where we are going...and relieved that that forward journey no longer requires the seat belt that it once did.

It starts with us

I recently started reading a great book called “The Modern Alpha Male” that gives great advice on how to be confident, assertive man in the 21st century, without the stereotypical mannerisms that occupy being an alpha male. None of it really pertains to what takes place within the realms of a D/s relationship, but it is highly applicable. It gives solid advice on how to be confident in all aspects of life, from relationships to work to inner-reflection.

That’s where it all starts, isn’t it? Being in control of ourselves, being confident about who we are and our place in life. Caring not about what others think, being in control of our emotions and actions. This realization has been an awakening for me as of late. I used to wring my hands over why my sub wasn’t more submissive, why she was not behaving in the way that I wanted her to, but ultimately, it is not her fault, it is mine. I control the situation, and the level of her submissiveness is directly connected to the level of my Dominance and self-confidence.

It all starts with us, we, the Doms --- how we care for ourselves, how we interact in all regards to life. That might seem unfair, but perhaps if you feel that way, you should not sign up to be on the D end of a D/s relationship. The burden is great, but the rewards are even greater. It involves self-control in all aspects of life, work and pleasure, body and diet, etc. With that self-discipline we can demand the same of our significant other. It tires me to think of it, in all honesty, but when she presents herself to me at night, naked and collared, eager to please and serve, that extra effort is more than well worth it.