Thursday, March 27, 2014


I was thinking today why I do not contribute to the blog as much as I used to. A big part of it is my new job. 12 hour workdays, plus contract work that i do at home in the evenings, as well as being an attentive Master and taking care of children, make it difficult to find time to blog.

I think another part of it is that we have gotten so settled into our D/s relationship, that it seems such a part of who we are, that I don't necessarily see what to blog about. My pet wears her collar when she goes to bed at night, I cane her, I use her in whatever manner I wish, she has her duties to follow during the's what we do these days. Like breathing and eating. It's what we do.

I do not want to give the impression that we are settled into a routine, that things are mundane or boring. On the contrary. We still find delightful surprises in our world. We have not hit our limits, either one of us, in what we are capable of. L is capable of being even more submissive, and I am capable of being even more Dominant. We often talk about how things would be if we did not have children around, and agree that we would probably venture into a Master/slave relationship. We've talked about me coming home to L, her kneeled before me naked and collared, and her evening spent at my heels. We talk about these things, and we both get aroused by it, and end up fucking each other silly.

So, no, nothing mundane at all. Still lots of surprises. For instance, the other night, I had L pretty deep under and I pulled out the Hitachi and used it quite aggressively on her clit, and the ensuing orgasm soaked our sheets. L used to argue that female ejaculation was a myth. She has since learned the reality of it.

Anyway, this blog was called questions, because that is what we are throwing out there to our readers. Ask us questions. Ask us...anything. We'll reply here on the blog (you can ask if you want the reply from L or me). Or, you can email us.


We've both started to realize that we are no longer amateurs at this. Two years in does not necessarily qualify us as veterans, but we know what we are doing pretty well. More than anything, we have survived insurmountable odds to get where we are. We have made it to the summit of shit mountain, and once we got there, we blew that motherfucker up, and have left it in our wake.

We are survivors.

We are amazing.

We are in love.

And if we can help others, well, all the much better.

With fond wishes,
S & L


  1. Thank you ! Finally we can ask questions :) I have a few for L. I hope others are excited to ask you two questions .. Now to remember those questions I've had all month thinking man I wish they would play along :) ~ s

  2. For L - You seem to have had a very different past before S , when did you discover you were submissive ? And S when did you discover you were Dominate? Who brought this lifestyle up first?
    L and S what is one thing you feel you could teach others about this lifestyle who are beginners?
    Ok and can you both give me 10 random fact about yourselves? We had that question and It was fun answering :)
    P.S. We love your blog ...

    1. S here. My responses are as follows:

      1. I never thought of myself as a Dominant male prior to entering this relationship with L. I never behaved in a dominant way with her prior to her signing the contract with me. Nor did I really act in a Dominant way in day to day life. That changed once we entered the relationship and my Dominant side came to fruition. I think I embraced that side of me because it was needed with L, it was needed for us. At the time we entered it, we did so because we needed something that defined us because of the challenges we were facing. It then turned into something as natural as the earth itself, and now, at this point, without it, our relationship would probably not survive.

      2. The one thing I would want to teach others: Communicate, communicate, communicate. Without it, you will not survive. And expect a lot of trial and error as you work on defining what is going to work for YOU.

      3. I will post the 10 random facts in a separate posting.

    2. L here. I had no clue I was submissive until we started the conversation and we both delved into all we could find online. Sharing good ones. S took forever to finish to contract although I knew I would agree to anything and everything. I will admit it all got me very wet. Also, now that I look at my past, it makes a bit more sense. In the....why was I ever with this person, then realize that they were just bossy assholes and me being the submissive that I am, thought that was good.

      Glad you enjoy S's blog. I love his words.

  3. If you could change the world to make it more accepting of open D/s couples in public, would you? Or do you think it is better left private?

    1. L might think differently, but I think part of the thrill of the D/s is the secret side, knowing that it is something that exists behind closed doors for us. I like collaring L when she crawls into bed next to me, and it symbolizes something for us and us alone. I don't know if I would want her collared in public, but I do know I would want her to be collared and leashed if were were at a BDSM club together. Part of the thrill of D/s is the taboo of it, the fact that it is a secret. There are ways to experience it in public that do not need to be obvious. I love it when L and I go out to a bar together and we were with friends and she will text me with things she has to ask permission for.

    2. L here....Hmmmm, interesting question. I would rather it be kept private as that would allow some hardcore people to walk around thinking they need to show their dominance with chains or piercings. I saw a woman last summer in a shop with a collar on. She was wearing scrubs like she had just gotten off work and for anyone would look like a choker. I knew what it was and she knew I knew what it was. So what. I have no D/s friends and have never openly talked about to anyone. Going to the club in LA was the closest I have ever been to being public. I would love to have someone to talk to....a friend who knew how I lived.

    3. L again. I find it also helps that I am and have always subserviant a word? If so, I am pretty sure that would be the right word to discribe me. I serve everyone who comes into my house....would you like something to drink....are you hungry, etc. I still cut up my children's food (22, 17 and 4). I set out everyones food. So when my mom comes over of my children are present, nothing seems odd. I refill S's wine glass and ask if he would like dessert....ask if he needs front of everyone and it is not odd at all. It is just who I am. I always thought I would make a great

  4. For S: What has been the hardest rule you have had to enforce?
    For L: What has been the most significant improvement in your behavior since beginning D/s? In other words, has there been a bad habit the D/s dynamic has helped you eliminate or a good habit that D/s has helped you acquire?

    1. I don't like to punish L. I like to cane her and flog her and clamp her nipples and control her breathing. I like to spank her cunt. I like to leave bite marks in her ass. I do not like to punish her though. It's interesting. When I cane her as a result of a punishment, the reaction is different. I don't cane her has hard as I do in a rough session, but the reaction is different. She cries. She begs me to stop. It hurts her when the caning is done for punishment. I don't like to hurt her, so knowing that, I don't think I could be labeled a sadist as I do not get pleasure from her pain, I only get pleasure from her pain when the pain is a pleasure for her. Confused now? Bottom line, I don't like punishing L, but I know it is necessary to shape her into the woman I want her to be from time time

    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    3. Hi, L here. Wow, my life is a lot different than it was before. I had many habits. first of all, I am now responsible for any and all my will not blame the person I was married to. We did a lot of coke......drank several times a name it and we probably did it. I was not always a willing participant and can remember countless times begging him not to make a 3am coke run, to please just go to sleep. I of course didn't do anything when I found out I was pregnant and never touched coke again. So there are a lot of things that changed. I never miss work and am a better parent. One of the things I love love love is the honesty. I was lied to always, even over stupid shit. So I love that. Also being with someone who is responsible for their actions and never blames it on others.

      I had no clue I was submissive. Didn't know much about it at all. I read a lot and was drawn to books of the sort.....thought 50 shades of grey was the most retarded writing ever. My inner goddess puked. I did show the contract to S and he went out and bought me the other books....which I wasn't able to finish. Anyway, it got the conversation started and here we are almost 2 years later and could not be happier. I feel so safe, secure (which I never had before) and loved. L

  5. Thanks for answering my questions. My husband and I have been doing D/s stuff seriously for the last 2 years, although it all started in the bedroom many years ago. I can't imagine living any other way. It is so nice to read about others who find the lifestyle as fulfilling as we do.

  6. That makes perfect sense to me "I only get pleasure from her pain when the pain is a pleasure for her." My Master is the same way. He also doesn't consider himself a sadist, even though he likes to hurt me. Sometimes I call him a sadist anyway. It is just a different type, to me.