You know you're a real Dom when...

...filling out an online form you have to tell your pet to click on the above button because you just can't bring yourself to do it.

Tuesday musings

L and I had some time alone this weekend at a lodge out of town, courtesy of my new job and some of the little perks that come with it. My new career is off to a good start, and it has some very nice travel benefits that L and I are looking forward to, to include a trip to Australia in December (which is not a bad time at all to get away from life in the Frozen North).

We were looking forward to it just as much for the peace and quiet as well as the chance for some no holds barred kink. We seem to be moving in a new direction as far as limits are concerned, mainly in terms of roughness that goes beyond the typical (yawn!) nightly caning. Breath play has become more and more common in our sessions, equally pleasurable for both of us. I talk a lot about hauling L off into the woods somewhere close to where we work (again, a perk of where we live) and raping her. Tying her to a tree. Doing bad things to her, rough things, things that might make her cry out and make me put a ball gag in her mouth to silence her. We talk about these things...well, I tell her about these things...and she gets wet, and I get hard, and then we are fucking.

And we like all of.....this.

During our weekend alone, I had L sit in a chair in our hotel room. I handcuffed her hands behind her, attached the spreader bar to her ankles and ran it between the chair legs, and blindfolded her. It was, without question, the most restrained and helpless she has been.

I kept her that way for awhile. I sat on the bed in front of her and observed her, took pictures of her. I savored the moment. I would go over from time to time and pull at her tits, slap at her face, choke her. I told things to her. I inserted the neck of the champagne bottle we had just consumed into her cunt. It was not a problem. She was soaking.

I kept at this for awhile before taking everything off of her and then had her kneel in front of the chair, hand cuffed her hands again, and caned her. After that, I removed her cuffs again, and sat in the chair while she sucked on me before I instructed her to ease back into me and ride me while I sat in the chair.

It was, as you can imagine, quite good and satisfying. L was deep into the world of subspace, so quite able to do whatever I asked of her. We slept a good sleep that night, soaking in the silence of our surroundings as well as the satisfaction in what we had done and who we were.

These alone times are important. We do quite well at home given the full house we normally have, with hardly a night going by where something does not happen, thanks to a locked door and a loud television to drown out the sounds that emit from our bedroom. But it is nice to not worry about those things, to do whatever we want without any censorship.

Yesterday I got my new whip in the mail, it is pretty damn wicked and makes a great sound when I strike it across L's ass. I used it as much as I could last night, but the great sound it makes is also a loud sound, so there was only so much I could do given that we could turn the television up only so loud before that in itself drew suspicion.

I wished I had had the whip during our weekend alone. It would have been a great addition.

It needs to be used properly.

Which means another weekend alone should not be too far off in the future.

piss

I have given L a number of golden showers since we entered this journey; we have both found it exciting in our separate ways and both of us have been surprised by that reaction. I have always viewed  it as marking my territory in an exceptionally primal way; for L, it has been a very submissive act.

I have, however, always been curious about being on the receiving end from L. I haven't viewed this fantasy as me wanting to submit to L. Exact opposite. For me, it has been about ownership. I own L and the cunt between her legs, therefore, I own the piss that comes out of that cunt. I have always wondered what it would be like to deny her pissing and when I do finally let her, it has to be on me.

L always openly pisses in front of me, she has no problem sitting down on the toilet with the bathroom door wide open, her panties around her ankle, and taking a piss. I always like the image of it...what's not to love with the image of a woman with panties around her ankle...and hearing the splash of her piss inside the toilet bowl.

We have talked about that fantasy of mine, and tonight we tried it.

We had just gotten back from our neighborhood watering hole, and thought none of us were drunk, we were feeling good. And, because we had just been at the neighborhood watering hole, we both had to pee.

It was a good night to do it. We essentially had the house to ourselves, so L stepped inside the bathroom with me as we both got undressed and turned the shower on.

I got in and knelt down in front of L, already instantly hard. L stood over me, and when I told her to do so, she pissed on my erection while I watched. It was exceptionally erotic for me, such a taboo thing to do, and all being done under my control. I loved the feel of it; the warmth and the view.

She finished, and I stood up, rock hard. L thought she would simply wash up a bit and then meet me in the bedroom, but I quickly ordered her to her knees.

"My turn," I said.

And I pissed on her, and I had a lot to splash on her. And for the first time since we have done it, L moved her face directly into the stream and allowed it to coat her face and hair.

We finished, cleaned up, and got out of the shower. I was still dealing with a rock hard erection and L got on her knees in the bathroom and sucked me off for a little before we both went into the bedroom.

I had originally thought we would go straight into a session once we got in the bedroom, but the erection throbbing between my legs and straining for release had to be taken care of. L continued sucking on me before I had her get on her back and I slid inside her and fucked her hard. Extremely hard. She started to tell me she was coming, and I reminded her that she had to ask. She asked, I said yes, and then she came, and for the second time tonight, she soaked my cock, this time not with pee. It was one her most impressive gushes to date. I pulled out of her and stroked myself over her, using her juices as lubrication. L wiped herself out, and I slid back inside her again (she has this uncanny ability to wipe out and becomes exceptionally tight again) and starting fucking her, and before long, (less than a minute) I came too.

I was quite pleased to discover that something that I imagined I would enjoy turned out to be more enjoyable than I fantasized. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes people develop high expectations in their mind that a certain sexual act is going to be beyond their wildest dreams, and then when it actually happens, it turns out to be a disappointment.

That has never been the case with L and I. L has allowed me to enact many fantasies with her; many of a rather long list. With each one, it has always been very enjoyable. From threesomes to new toys, the pleasures imagined in fantasies have always turned out be the same in reality. We are fortunate that way, and I think it has all to do with the connection we have between us and the D/s dynamics.

Perhaps I am overthinking this. Perhaps this blog post was way longer than it needed to be. Perhaps. All I know for sure is that tonight I ordered my dear sweet submissive L to piss on me, and I am quite eager to do it again.

no panties

L was punished when I got home today, she fucked up on a couple of rules and I really didn't want to wait until bedtime to take care of it. We went into the bedroom as soon as I got home and I took my belt off, removed her panties, hiked up the back of her dress, and punished her. She took it well.

Afterwards, she wanted to put her panties back on as she was going to the grocery store to shop. "There's no need," I said. "Leave them off. You can walk around the store with no panties on under your dress."

(it's a lovely summer dress, by the way. Mid-length. No danger, really, of a draft lifting it up and shoppers getting a nice view of her freshly waxed cunt...unfortunately)

She obeyed. Prior to leaving the house, she came over to the stool I was sitting on and straddled my knee, and my hand went under her dress and touched her wetness. I put a finger inside of her, pulled it out, and licked her wetness of of it.

Then slapped her ass and sent her on her way to the store.

"Don't drip along any of the aisles," I advised, as she headed out. "That would be embarrassing."

She is out shopping while I write this, pushing her cart down the aisles, in her lovely summer dress, where, underneath, her cunt is there and in the open. I wonder how she feels. I wonder if her cunt feels the temperature difference going down the cooler aisle.

I just texted her. I told her that when she gets in the car to hike her dress up she is fully exposed and to drive home in that manner. If at truck were to pull up beside her and if someone were to look down, they might see her. I like that.

I like controlling her in that way.

Even better?

I like how incredibly wet that control makes her.

So what's going on?

I suspect many of you are wondering what I have put into place after my last posting, and the truth be told, I have not posted anything because I have not quite figured it out, though I am getting close. The last couple of weeks have been busy and we have had to take a break from our normal routine somewhat with family here from out of town and an extended 4th of July weekend. The children are on summer schedule, and it is not uncommon for the four year old to pound on our door after midnight stating that he is hungry or wants his show on.

I started my new job on Monday, so I am no longer the stay at home Dom that I was the last month. It's a good job, far less stressful then the last job, so I am feeling good about that. Getting up and putting a tie on in the morning and heading out the door before L goes to her job makes me feel good. Makes me feel...more Dommy (is that a word?). It has nothing to do with me making money again, as has been previously discussed, it just gives me a sense of purpose that helps with our overall relationship. I made a good stay at home Dom; got up every morning at the same time as L, stayed active, etc. I had a sense of purpose, for sure. But having the job to go to makes a difference. Hard to explain.

Anyway, I am slowly but surely starting to implement some new changes, not connected to the BDSM aspect of our relationship and those glorious things we do in the bedroom. I am trying to focus more on the day to day aspect and the fact that we have a 24/7 D/s relationship that does not always feel like 24/7. Last night I told L that she and I will both have reading time at night, where the TV is off and we lie in bed reading together. We both chose reading material that had to with D/s relationships.

I am working on implementing things that I feel with make L better in all areas of life; it is one of the reasons she gave herself to me, allowed herself to be collared, signed the contract that she did. It is not all about the sex. It is about her giving up all control to me, trusting in make to make decisions that will improve her life.

That is the focus right now.

Still.

There is the sex.

I don't blindfold L that often, but I did last night, and we had a minor session, but the out of the blue decision to blindfold her that almost dropped her instantaneously into sub space. Some caning followed, but we quickly moved on to the sucking and fucking, and the fucking was AMAZING. I held off for as long as I could, wanting her to orgasm first. Wanting her to beg for it. And she did, she asked permission, and I granted it to her, and at the same time hers shook through her entire body, mine hit as well, and we collapsed into each other.

So there is that.

But there is so much more.

L on punishments

L emailed me the following today for posting. I am obliging.

So I was reading a blog recently and it was quite gushy.....gushing about how good and well-behaved their sub was.  How they have NEVER been punished....how they do everything that is expected of them and they wouldn't change a thing.  It all sounded, well, boring.  Now for the record, I do mess up, I do forget things....I am not the "perfect" sub and I never will be.  That being said, I will also admit that I am a bit of a masochist and the thought of being punished and not knowing what the punishment will be is a delightful mind fuck.  I also would never ever do anything on purpose for the punishment.  Punishments are not nice and they are there for a reason.  When it comes time to be punished, I beg sometimes.....plead others....knowing that nothing I say or do will get me out of it and accept it.  Sometimes its the cane, sometimes its cornertime or a writing assignment.  I never know.  The one thing I do know after all this time is that whatever I did to deserve to be punished will be dealt with quickly and once done, all is right with the world again.

Thankfully S does not care for a robot sub who NEVER does anything wrong.