consistency

With school now underway, the days are getting long for L and I. It is often times not until after 10p.m. that we are settled into our bedroom when all is said and done. L’s workload and stress in her job has increased as of late, and it sometimes shows in some of her mannerisms. It takes her some time at the end of the day and evening for her to roll into submissive mode, and I can’t say I blame her. She is tough at nails at her job, even dominant at times and deals with a lot of difficult people and in the case of some of her co-workers, deals with stupid people that test her patience. 

She was, at one time, not a very patient person but I like to think that our D/s journey has helped her find patience she never had, both at work and at home. It is fascinating when I stop and think of the change these dynamics has had on both of us and how it has strengthened our partnership.

She’s very good at her job, and I am proud of the work she does, both at work and at home. She’s a hard worker and a very smart woman, and I recognize each and every day just how damn fortunate I am that she gave herself to me.

So, yes, the days have been long and it is late at night before we find time to ourselves. I think a lot of times L would prefer that we do nothing, that we simply go to sleep, but it is rare if ever that I allow that to happen. I stick to my guns and keep things consistent. Last night she tried to get away with coming to bed without showering first, which she did, but in what best can be described as a “huff” as she went into the bathroom. I require her to kneel before my side of the bed before she settles in for the night, I require her to wear her collar, and I require her to be naked. She will typically fuss about all of these things, maybe, hoping, that the wishy-washy Dom who existed back when we first started this would return, and I would give her a break.

But I don’t give her a break. The wishy-washy Dom died a long time ago, and emerging from his ashes was a stronger and confident Dom who knew the important of consistency and routine in making this all work.

I stick to my guns. Consistency. What happens when all of the above is complete will often vary, with the exception of one thing, and that is that we do not the end the day without me receiving sexual pleasure of some sort. But there are other things. Last night I gave her a very serious and intense caning with the bamboo stick (which is perfect) that lasted quite some time and had L slip sliding away into the neverworld of subspace quite quickly. Some nights it will be the spreader bar, others the handcuffs. A hair brush on the ass, a spanking of the pussy, a squeezing of the neck…whatever I feel works at the time. Then with all of that comes the inevitable. The wetness. The hardness.

The fucking.

Good god, the fucking.

With these long days, I sometimes feel like I have to drag L kicking and screaming into our world, but I drag away (usually by grabbing her hair), and before long, kicking and screaming is replaced with dripping and moaning. We do our thing, the late hour continues, and then it is over, and L asks permission to go to sleep, and she crashes immediately and sleeps a solid sleep that I don’t think would come without doing all of those things that she complains about doing.

Me, though, I don’t sleep right away. As I explained to L last night, my adrenaline kicks in after a good session, and even after I have exploded inside of her, her deliciously tight cunt squeezing every drop out of me, I am fully awake. I grant her permission to sleep. I stay awake for a bit, content and satisfied, and begin thinking ahead. To the next night. When she crawls in bed with me, and we do our dance again.

The care and feeding of a slut

The proper care and feeding of a slut

A few weeks ago I took in an outdoor production of Shakespeare’s “As You Like It.” I was surprised in the middle of one scene where the following line was delivered by Touchstone, the court jester:

“Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish.”

Foul slut? Did I hear correctly? I wasn’t aware that the word “slut” existed in the days of the Bard, so, when I got home, I did a little research into its origins.

Turns out it has been around for quite some time. It first appeared in Middle English in 1402 as the word “slutte” with the meaning of a “dirty, tidy, or slovenly woman.” The way we know it today as a sexually promiscuous woman dates back to at least 1450.

So, turns out, sluts have been around for a long time.

It’s only in the last two and a half years that I have happened to own one.

I take that responsibility very seriously. Not everyone gets a chance to own a slut, but I do. Got one in my bed each and every night. Granted, she has to ask permission to come to my bed, but she does. In true slut fashion, she gets into bed naked and prepared to do whatever I desire to her, using whatever hole I find appealing at the time.

Sluts are a lot of fun to have around.

But they require a lot of work as well.

It’s well worth it, though. The proper care and feeding and taking care of a slut, the nurturing and loving of a slut, these are all proper components. If you were to be so lucky, like me, have a slut sent to you or fall into your possession, please be sure to read the instructions that come with her properly.

It’s not like she’s a Gremlin and you have to worry about getting her wet, which is good, because sluts, by the nature of who they are, get wet easily. You can feed them after midnight. They like to be fed. They have three holes in which they can be fed.

That aside, here are some of the rules:

• You have to love your slut with all of your heart.

• You can call her a slut, but make sure she knows that she is your slut alone. That is what they live for.

•  Sluts need to be spanked if they are bad. Actually, they need to be spanked if they are good as well

•  In some instances, they are a “cum slut” or a “fucking slut.” Most likely, in those instances, they are having their face buried in the pillow while you fuck them from behind.

•  Sluts deserve flowers and cards, gifts and gestures, to show them how much you care for them. How much you care for them as a slut.

• Sluts are insatiable. Be prepared to respond accordingly

• You can fuck and abuse your slut all that you want, but give her time to rest and recuperate, because broken sluts do not work properly.

• Be faithful to your slut and your slut alone. Being given a slut is a gift. Respond accordingly.

I could write so much more on this topic, but will save it for my upcoming book. And besides, L and I just had a fairly vanilla weekend. It is Sunday night, and I need to step inside of the bedroom and make her feel like a slut.

Privileges versus rights

A few postings ago I wrote about how I was looking for a new level to take mine and L's D/s relationship. A few postings, and perhaps a few weeks later, I can say that things have changed.

The change that has taken place has been on educating L more on what things in her life with me and us are rights, and which things are privileges. I wanted to help her understand how much she had truly given up, how much she had handed over to me, when she agreed to the terms of our contract and when I proudly collared her.

Because L is really a lucky girl at the end of the day. She is allowed a great amount of freedom given the nature of our relationship and the role she plays. I'm quite kind to her. She will be the first to admit to that. We read stories of what happens in other D/s relationships, have read many blogs and books where the submissive is subject to many restrictions and strict rituals that make ours look pale in comparison.

This is not to say that what they do is the model, or what I was looking for. People do in these relationships what works for them, and one Dom and sub needs does not hold true for everyone.

Still, we can learn from these readings and discovering what others have to say, and as I thought about what I needed out of this relationship, what my expectations of L are, I knew that some of this was in line with the direction that I had been wanting to go in.

Helping L understand those things in her life that are rights.

And those things that are privileges.

Email from S to L on July 28:

Pet:

As I was saying, it is time to take things up a notch in terms of helping you understand and appreciate those things in your life with me that you have a right to and those things that you are privileged to. Really, though, it is quite simple. Any aspect of your life that has anything to do with me (and, really, that includes everything, as your entire life is supposed to revolve around me) is a privilege. That being said, there are some basic things (a few) that you are entitled to.

One of the best ways I can think of to help you appreciate those things that you are privileged to is to take them away from you for an amount of time so you appreciate them when you do have them. Being able to use your phone in bed to check Facebook and whatnot is a privilege that you get, if you were to not have that for an amount of time, you would recognize it as a privilege. I will not go full board on this right away, maybe small things here and there and make it a work in progress and when all is said and done, you would be so appreciative of the little things that I allow you in life.

One of the biggest privileges you get is to share a bed with me each and every night. It truly is a privilege. You are privileged to get the attention of my hand on you every night, you are privileged to get the pleasure of my cock inside of you, and all of the other things that occur in bed. 

So starting tonight, before we settle in for the night, you will do as follows. You will come over to my side of the bed and kneel before me, head down, and ask:

"Please Sir, may I lie in bed with you tonight?"

I am sure in most instances I will say yes to you, though from time to time to help you appreciate that privilege, I may have you lie down at the foot on the bed, unclothed and untouched, for a short amount of time so that being allowed to lie next to me and receive attention from me (even painful attention) is like heaven. Or I might have you lie on the floor next to me while I am in bed.

This subject of privileges will be an ongoing conversation that I will develop with you, with much more to come.

That being said, here are the short amount of things you are entitled to:

1. You have a right to be taken care of by me.

2. You have a right to be loved me.

3. You have a right for me to be honest and faithtful to you.

4. You have a right to tend to the needs of your children.

5. You have a right to be healthy, mentally and physically.

6. You have a right to be employed.

There might be other. I considered "You have a right to breathe." but you know what, I like to take that right away from you as well, my big hand around your neck and squeezing tightly, watching the reaction on your face, then letting go and watching as you gasp in the air....privileged for that opportunity.

Let me know if any of this is unclear of if you have any questions.

--Sir

Reply from L to S on July 28:

Sir-
 
No questions and thank you for clarifying things.  I will forever be your obedient pet.

Ever since that posting almost two weeks ago, before L has come to bed with me, she has had to do exactly that. She comes over to my side of the bed...sometimes naked, sometimes collared...and kneels before me; head down, no eye contact, as I have directed her. She asks permission to come to bed with me.

I have always said yes so far.

But I take my time.

I take my time and rest my foot on her back and head while she kneels before me. I contemplate the situation. I ask her if she realizes how fortunate she is to lie in bed with me, to be touched by me in the manner that I do; and she says, yes Sir, I do...and then I pause, and then I eventually say "You may come to bed with me," and if she is wearing her collar, I will use it to lift her head and half drag her on to the bed, and then I do.....oh, you know...I do those things to her.

It's added a nice little ritual to our evening, and most definitely sets the tone in a new way for us. I am thinking of other ones to add on, but slowly, and deliberately, because I want them to have some type of meaning to them.

And so it continues.