This weekend we had a particularly kinky weekend, which says a lot, since being kinky plays a role in mine and L's lives on a daily basis. The level of kink varies, of course. Some nights (oh so rare, those nights are) go by where we do not participate in any type of sexual activity. The cane stays in the closet, and we kiss each other good night like June and Ward Cleaver.
But it is never THAT vanilla, no siree. Even on nights where we don't do anything...did I mention those nights are exceptionally rare...there is still a degree of kink involved. L does not go to bed without her collar. L does not go to bed without kneeling before me, on my side of the bed, and asking permission to sleep in my bed with me. I always allow her, but one of these nights, when she is not expecting it, I will tell her no, that she can sleep at the foot of the bed or on the floor next to me. This would not be for a punishment, but as a reminder that sharing a bed with me is a privilege, not a right.
So, no...absence of sex does not equate to your beloved S and L falling back on vanilla times.
This weekend, in particular, was not even close to vanilla. We got a hotel room and had a deliciously kinky time, we danced with the taboo and the forbidden, turned our backs on normalcy and decency, and did...well, shit...how else to put it?
We did those things that we do.
It is a wonderful thing, what we have...and what other loving couples in this lifestyle have.
Our live's have not always been this way.
I was married prior to being with L, and with my ex-wife, had a more than two year period where there was no sex or intimacy involved. It was an exceptionally lonely time in my life. I, of course, was not aware of this side of me yet..the Dominant side, the sexually assertive side of me, that demanded control in the bedroom and other aspects of my life, that craved the kneeling and worshipping of a submissive woman. I had no clue at all. I knew I had a highly sexual side of me that was clawing inside of me, wanting to emerge from my cocoon. It was there.
My marriage ended. I moved on. I met L. We stormed through our life together on an out of control roller coaster.
The roller coaster stopped moving some time ago, came to a halt, and we emerged in great shape.
And here we are now.
We did those things that we do this weekend, but we also decorated the house for Halloween, took children to hockey practice, hosted a birthday party for family members. To those peering in, we do appear to be like June and Ward Cleaver.
We enjoy that side of our lives, the domesticity. That part of our lives is also our true nature.
Just as much as the other side of our lives is.