L and I are in a 24/7 D/s relationship.
It is one thing to say that, and another thing to live it.
Few things in life are truly 24/7, with the exception of a Denny's restaurant.
I think there are others who manage to make that reality than we do, relationships that are more centered around Master/slave than what we have. The reality is, it's just not that easy to keep it up through every second of our lives. I am not always Dominant and L is not always submissive; she is not always serving me and I am not always controlling her. We have busy lives with kids and work and families and now all of that....read my last posting..has expanded upon. As we navigate the course of our day, L is not always looking to me for approval, I am not always giving her directives or stern looks. She does make decisions on her own.
But it is there, hidden, really, beneath all that we do. We might not practice 24/7 D/s, but it is there in its own way. L knows what is expected of her and what the repercussions are if she slips.
Then there is the bedroom where the D/s roars like a lion, where L is not allowed to come to bed without asking permission. A collar is worn, and I do bad things to her. Last night I worked her over with the rug beater so intensely that she is sore and bruised today (longtime readers know that L does not bruise easily) prior to me fucking her up the ass (which is also not always the case).
There have been times when the D/s outside of the bedroom has been stronger than it is now. I am not sure what has changed. I think, in some ways, we have evolved. The D/s does not have to be as evident as it once was because the prior work has created a solid foundation.
Like I said, few things in life are truly 24/7.
With the exception of a Denny's restaurant.
A grand slam breakfast sounds pretty damn good right now. Perhaps I will direct my bruised submissive to go to the nearest one and get me one.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Life Changing Event
I have commented on this blog before about the fact that I have two sons from my first marriage who live with their mom close to 3,000 miles away. This has been the case for four years now, and has always been an empty space in my heart, no matter how good my situation with L and her boys has been. I love being a father, I love my son, and not having them with me...they are ages 7 and 14...has always been so hard. Birthdays and holidays via Skype. Missing once in a lifetime opportunities, from graduating kindergarten to starting high school.
All of that has changed, and all of a sudden.
My older son called me on Monday to inform me of some good news --- the boys and their mom were moving back home, and it was happening within 24 hours. It was intended as a Christmas surprise, which it most certainly was --- it has been six days since that announcement, and I am still in shock. I have gone, in the course of days, from being a father who this last time went close to two years without seeing his boys to now being able to see them everyday.
It is hard for me to articulate just how major this is in my life. I have always felt like I have lived in two worlds, my world with L and her boys and my world with my own children, which was sadly starting to fade away.
No more. This week, two worlds collided. My boys have spent many hours over here at our house, getting to know L and her boys. It is going to take some time. There will be some feelings of jealousy, as my time and attention has to be spread among four boys boys now. L has to get to know my boys, and they have to get to know her....their future stepmom.
So far, so good. We're all in a bit of a shock, I think. I know I am. It's a refreshing feeling to be given everything that you want, but at the same time, now that I have it, I have to figure out what to do with it. It is the ultimate balancing act.
This post has nothing to do with my D/s relationship with L, but it is significant enough to post about it. Our life is not all BDSM and D/s, there are many other woven layers of our lives...that has always been the case...and now, those layers have been added.
I couldn't be happier.
My boys are not spending the night with us yet, we are going to work towards that. My youngest son has autism and is very dependent on schedules and consistency, so our merger is a gradual one.
Tonight when I said goodbye to them we were able to use the clock to determine when we would see each other again.
It used to be a calendar.
All of that has changed, and all of a sudden.
My older son called me on Monday to inform me of some good news --- the boys and their mom were moving back home, and it was happening within 24 hours. It was intended as a Christmas surprise, which it most certainly was --- it has been six days since that announcement, and I am still in shock. I have gone, in the course of days, from being a father who this last time went close to two years without seeing his boys to now being able to see them everyday.
It is hard for me to articulate just how major this is in my life. I have always felt like I have lived in two worlds, my world with L and her boys and my world with my own children, which was sadly starting to fade away.
No more. This week, two worlds collided. My boys have spent many hours over here at our house, getting to know L and her boys. It is going to take some time. There will be some feelings of jealousy, as my time and attention has to be spread among four boys boys now. L has to get to know my boys, and they have to get to know her....their future stepmom.
So far, so good. We're all in a bit of a shock, I think. I know I am. It's a refreshing feeling to be given everything that you want, but at the same time, now that I have it, I have to figure out what to do with it. It is the ultimate balancing act.
This post has nothing to do with my D/s relationship with L, but it is significant enough to post about it. Our life is not all BDSM and D/s, there are many other woven layers of our lives...that has always been the case...and now, those layers have been added.
I couldn't be happier.
My boys are not spending the night with us yet, we are going to work towards that. My youngest son has autism and is very dependent on schedules and consistency, so our merger is a gradual one.
Tonight when I said goodbye to them we were able to use the clock to determine when we would see each other again.
It used to be a calendar.
Report from Down Under
I suspect a lot of you are waiting to hear about all of the debauchery that occurred during mine and L's trip Down Under.
I hate to tell you this, but you are going to be disappointed.
We didn't get a chance to explore the BDSM like I hoped to. While both Melbourne and Sydney featured BDSM clubs, they weren't open during the times we were there. And because this was a combination business trip and vacation, even being alone in a hotel for close to two weeks didn't really result in any more sessions than we have back home..possibly fewer, to be honest. By the end of the night after walking for what seemed like ever, business appointments, late nights out dining and drinking, all we wanted to do most nights was curl up in our bed and go to sleep.
It was not, however, without its moments. There was the threesome we had in Melbourne with a man I found on Craigslist. There was our last night in our hotel room on the Gold Coast when I dragged L out to the balcony overlooking the beach, using her leash and collar, and had her suck me off while I leaned against the balcony before I kneeled her over a patio chair and pounded her.
It is, after all, L and I, so the likelihood of things ever being vanilla is so rare.
It was a great visit though, Australia is a wonderful country and we packed in a lot in our two weeks there. We had a great visit because we were together. A sure sign of a solid relationship is being able to survive close to 24 hour of flying and still being happy to be with each other when all is said and done. That isn't because of the D/s, that is because of of just how good we are together and how much we love each other.
So...sorry to disappoint. I know you were expecting more.
But here's the good news.
We are traveling to New Orleans next month, and if any city knows how to do debauchery, it's that one.
I hate to tell you this, but you are going to be disappointed.
We didn't get a chance to explore the BDSM like I hoped to. While both Melbourne and Sydney featured BDSM clubs, they weren't open during the times we were there. And because this was a combination business trip and vacation, even being alone in a hotel for close to two weeks didn't really result in any more sessions than we have back home..possibly fewer, to be honest. By the end of the night after walking for what seemed like ever, business appointments, late nights out dining and drinking, all we wanted to do most nights was curl up in our bed and go to sleep.
It was not, however, without its moments. There was the threesome we had in Melbourne with a man I found on Craigslist. There was our last night in our hotel room on the Gold Coast when I dragged L out to the balcony overlooking the beach, using her leash and collar, and had her suck me off while I leaned against the balcony before I kneeled her over a patio chair and pounded her.
It is, after all, L and I, so the likelihood of things ever being vanilla is so rare.
It was a great visit though, Australia is a wonderful country and we packed in a lot in our two weeks there. We had a great visit because we were together. A sure sign of a solid relationship is being able to survive close to 24 hour of flying and still being happy to be with each other when all is said and done. That isn't because of the D/s, that is because of of just how good we are together and how much we love each other.
So...sorry to disappoint. I know you were expecting more.
But here's the good news.
We are traveling to New Orleans next month, and if any city knows how to do debauchery, it's that one.
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