It's been close to a week since the last post, an extremely hectic and difficult week for the two of us. Our time together has been minimal and last night was the first night we fell asleep together in more than a week. We tried to hang on to as much of the D/s relationship as we could, but faltered at times. Rules were broken by L. I was not as strong as I should have at times. The circumstances surrounding L's situation had me, at times, worried that L might have to call things off with me altogether, and with those feelings of uncertainties came some floundering on my part.
Tuesday afternoon we moved back towards things, albeit briefly. L met me at my place during the day and when she walked in, 10 minutes late, I glared at her and handed her her collar. "Go upstairs and get in the position," I ordered her.
When I got upstairs to my room she was naked on my bed, her ass in the air waiting for me. There were some punishments to be dealt with from the weekend, and after I leashed her, my spankings were harder than they had been before. L reacted stronger than she had before, her whimpers turning to cries and at one point she turned over and said "Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said. "No more spankings. Please."
"You know there have to be though. There is no choice," I said, turning her back over on her tummy and delivering a couple more solid spanks. When L protested her again, I slapped her on the face. Taking off my pants, I grabbed the back of her head and forced her on my erect cock, and as she sucked on, tears trickled down her cheek onto my shaft.
"Do you want to me to fuck you?" I asked, pulling it out of her mouth and holding it in front of her. "Do you want me fuck you with this cock?"
"Yes please," she begged, and I reached down with my hand and felt her wetness on my fingers.
"That's my nice wet pussy," I told her. "So wet." I then slid all of the way inside of her and began fucking her. I denied her from coming the first two times she asked, but on the third, gave her approval, and began pounding her as hard as I could as her orgasm erupted though her entire body.
Later that day L told me that the cries weren't necessarily from the punishment, but, rather, were cries related to emotion. She was having a hard time letting herself completely go to me during our session. I told her that is fine, we had gotten off track as of late and that we will get there. When I came home to her late last night, she had my glass of ice water awaiting for me on my side of the bed and this morning she brought me my cup of coffee while I was still in bed.
This last Monday we were supposed to review our contract which had been in place for a month. We didn't get a chance to do that, so that will happen tomorrow. I plan to cut back on some of the rules and work better on enforcing the ones in place and being a better and more consistent Dominant. We are not starting over as the foundation is in place so we just need to continue from where we left off. And I need to not have doubts as to L's commitment to this. To me. As she told me in an email this afternoon.