I asked L to write about what the slapping experience is like for her, and this is what she had to say:
Let me begin by stating that my first marriage was abusive. Mostly mental abuse but at times got physical. Lots of hair ripping (pulling is another thing, this was ripping), pushing, wrist twisting....that sort of thing. Especially if he had been drinking heavily. I've had many bruises in my time. I'm by no means a timid woman and the abuse wasn't a daily thing. To some extent, I was submissive in my marriage and I think that is just me, I'm submissive.
Being in a D/s relationship is nothing like that at all. Almost opposite in fact. I'm not scared. I'm comfortable. There is a huge difference between not knowing what is going to happen....scared of what he may do....what condition he will be in....etc. and laying there knowing that S is going to slap me. I liked what someone had said in another blog, that D/s isn't about abuse but about sensations. There is the moment when he has raised his hand above my cheek and you know its coming. Gets me wet. Makes me feel alive. Submissive. Owned.