Thursday, March 19, 2015

Dilemma of the Kind Dom

It's tough being a Dom when you are, in your heart of hearts, a very kind man.

L might not agree with me there, based on some of the things that I do to her and require of her. I can understand that. Do these knife marks across her back look like the acts of a kind man?

But I am kind.

Exceptionally kind.

If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you would know that the two sexual acts that L has a very difficult time submitting to (though, she will do them, but very, very reluctantly) are being fucked up the ass and being made to swallow me.

To put it bluntly.

L had her period this week and I made it clear to her that I would use her sexually by taking her in the ass. We are relatively unsqueamish when it comes to Aunt Flow visiting us and most months we push the limits as far as whether or not it is going to be a messy situation. I personally don't mind it; it's all natural, and hey! put a towel on the bed and wipe me off afterwards.

So her period came this month...and one night I was sick and we did nothing. The other night I got out of her what I really wanted, and that was nothing more than a handjob. It was a first in our relationship, oddly enough....perhaps a bit too innocent for all of the other things we do sexually. And it was quite enjoyable. Never downplay the pleasure of a good old fashioned handjob, any teenage boy who received his first awkward one in the back of a car will tell you.

Last night I was going to fuck her up the ass.

I made it clear to her the morning when I left for work that is what I was going to do. Told her to prepare for it. Was still on the agenda for that evening and then, when I left the house to run an errand, she sent me a text message stating she was done bleeding.

So, that night...after a through flogging session, I ignored her ass.

And took her from the front instead.

This morning, I sent her the following memo.

Whatever is a kind Dom to do?


I suppose in some did get off the hook again last night.

Because I started the day fully intending to fuck you up the ass.

And I did not end the day that way.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy the tightness of your cunt...even if there was a little bit of blood afterwards.

Still, I need to rethink my kindness when it comes to a couple of areas sexually with you.

I like fucking you up the ass. Turns me on. Love the way it makes you whimper when I start to enter you, and the slowness of pushing my way in, always mindful of not hurting you too much, and then that feeling when I fully penetrate you and my cock is deep inside your ass, then I can begin sliding in and out, and I look down and watch....and you know how visual I am...and it is so, so incredibly tight, and then I erupt inside of you and when I pull out my cum drips out of your ass.

I like that.

I think you almost came once from me fucking you up the ass.

I also like...and again, another act I rarely do because I am just too kind to, of course, coming inside your mouth. I love to have you suck me off in that exceptional way you do, your hand wrapped around me, stroking and sucking at the same time...and I move your hair back so I can watch, and the sound of your sucking...and sometimes I just want to erupt right there and shoot every last drop of me into your slut mouth. And I would like it even rawer that that, to be honest. You wouldn't even have to swallow. You could let it run back out of your mouth, back down my cock, and keep sucking. I am at my most sensitive right after I come, and I would love to just stay in your mouth as you suck and clean me dry.

And here's the thing. I can do all of these things. it is well within my right as your Dominant and well within your responsibility as my property.

Nothing is stopping me, really.

Just my kindness for the most part.

And perhaps, that is not always the best approach.

For either one of us.

I love you very much.



  1. If you dont me saying, you hit the nail right on the head when you said its your kindness thats stops you...its not always the best approach.

    I think its important to identify what the specific difficulty is in these 2 areas, and address them.

    Of course everyone is different, in how we handle certain situations, if you dont mind a suggestion, i would be inclined to set a date, where you make it clear that xzy will be L time to adjust and come to terms with the fact it is happening and there is no way out of it.

  2. This is such a balancing act, I'm quite sure you're doing what's best for you two, what works for you two. I think it's a great idea how you give her a timeline, for example, in the morning you told her of your intent.
    What is even more worthwhile is that you told her your feelings, and why you find the acts so hot. That alone would turn me on.

  3. I very much agree with the above comment from cammies on the floor. I as a full time submissive cannot imagine how difficult it may be at times for the Dominant to balance things, especially so when they are very kind people. It sounds like from everything I have read here at your wonderful blog, that you do a very good job at the balancing act.

    And, I hope you will not mind me saying, that your memo to her was very hot. If I were to receive such a letter from my Dom, I would have been squirming all day.

    brat :)

  4. Being relatively new to D/s lifestyle and knowing each other since we were kids -35 years - I can see where my husbands kind heart can hold him back. I can see where at times I am hoping for that kind heart because the pain is more than I can stand.
    I like how you gave L some warning about what was to take place that night. For me I like a little warning if that is going to take place - not that I don't enjoy - I thoroughly enjoy anal with him - I just want to be super clean and all clear so to speak.
    Why is L reluctant? The pain? The possible ick that could show up?
    And your note to her was sweet and sexy and very clear how you enjoy her.