One of the Doms I have been following on Twitter tweeted this yesterday:
Foolish is he who mistakes the absolute belief a woman deserves social and economic equality as conflicting with principles of Dominance
This gave me pause for reflection, as in my relationship with my pet, we have entered a phase in our partnership where she is, in fact, the breadwinner in the relationship while I climb my way out of a brief period of unemployment. Pet is the one who gets up and goes to work in the morning while I take care of things at home, from taking her youngest child to school to cooking and cleaning.
At first the idea of being the one staying at home didn't resonate with me. At all. I am by no means a neanderthal type of man who brings hardcore ideologies to the table on what the man's role and what the woman's role is, but I do take pride on being a good provider and being able to take care of the ones I love. Any man out there whose employment has been affected by the economic turmoil over the last decade knows how sickening this feeling is, to be placed in a position where you don't have the financial needs to be the strong provider you want to be. Are used to being. It impacts our sense of self identity, and in extreme cases, is our kryptonite.
Then there were concerns going into this in terms of how this would affect the dynamics of our D/s relationship...if you've read this blog at all, you know by now there has been no shortage of obstacles in our journey together!
Interestingly enough, what I am finding so far is that it could end up being the best thing that happened to us.
It helps, of course, that there is light at the end of the tunnel in terms of my employment situation and I will be back into the workforce grind in another month or so.
But for the time being, I now have time that just wasn't there before to really focus on our relationship and how I can work to make it the best possible. How I can work to be the best Master possible. I am able to put some of my own affairs into order. We are finally, after close to two years of going back and forth on it, combining our households into one, so I am able to work on making that possible. I am setting into motion the manner and schedule for how I want the household to be run, sorting out roles and responsibilities, and so forth. I'm also able to give pet a break from having to do so many things that she had to do herself. I may not be the financial provider that I want to be right now, but in this new arrangement, I can be the emotional and caregiver provider, and that, perhaps, is more important than anything.
When pet walks in the door at the end of the day, I want her to feel at peace, to be confident that I have taken care of things and everything is going to be ok. She understands what is expected of her, and if she doesn't, she knows to ask.
We have our schedule. Dinner is eaten, children are taken to hockey practice, baths are given, stories are read. Bedtime comes for us. The door is closed and locked. Talks of our day and schedules fades away as clothes are shed and we begin the dance. Any stresses pet suffered through the day dissipate with each slap of my hand or paddle across her ass. We fuck ourselves to exhaustion. Sleep comes, and with it, smiles on our respective faces.