Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Confessions of a stay at home Master

One of the Doms I have been following on Twitter tweeted this yesterday:

Foolish is he who mistakes the absolute belief a woman deserves social and economic equality as conflicting with principles of Dominance

This gave me pause for reflection, as in my relationship with my pet, we have entered a phase in our partnership where she is, in fact, the breadwinner in the relationship while I climb my way out of a brief period of unemployment. Pet is the one who gets up and goes to work in the morning while I take care of things at home, from taking her youngest child to school to cooking and cleaning.

At first the idea of being the one staying at home didn't resonate with me. At all. I am by no means a neanderthal type of man who brings hardcore ideologies to the table on what the man's role and what the woman's role is, but I do take pride on being a good provider and being able to take care of the ones I love. Any man out there whose employment has been affected by the economic turmoil over the last decade knows how sickening this feeling is, to be placed in a position where you don't have the financial needs to be the strong provider you want to be. Are used to being. It impacts our sense of self identity, and in extreme cases, is our kryptonite. 

Then there were concerns going into this in terms of how this would affect the dynamics of our D/s relationship...if you've read this blog at all, you know by now there has been no shortage of obstacles in our journey together!

Interestingly enough, what I am finding so far is that it could end up being the best thing that happened to us.

It helps, of course, that there is light at the end of the tunnel in terms of my employment situation and I will be back into the workforce grind in another month or so.

But for the time being, I now have time that just wasn't there before to really focus on our relationship and how I can work to make it the best possible. How I can work to be the best Master possible. I am able to put some of my own affairs into order. We are finally, after close to two years of going back and forth on it, combining our households into one, so I am able to work on making that possible. I am setting into motion the manner and schedule for how I want the household to be run, sorting out roles and responsibilities, and so forth. I'm also able to give pet a break from having to do so many things that she had to do herself. I may not be the financial provider that I want to be right now, but in this new arrangement, I can be the emotional and caregiver provider, and that, perhaps, is more important than anything. 

When pet walks in the door at the end of the day, I want her to feel at peace, to be confident that I have taken care of things and everything is going to be ok. She understands what is expected of her, and if she doesn't, she knows to ask. 

We have our schedule. Dinner is eaten, children are taken to hockey practice, baths are given, stories are read. Bedtime comes for us. The door is closed and locked. Talks of our day and schedules fades away as clothes are shed and we begin the dance. Any stresses pet suffered through the day dissipate with each slap of my hand or paddle across her ass. We fuck ourselves to exhaustion. Sleep comes, and with it, smiles on our respective faces.


  1. What started out as a typical *star* or RT on Twitter, I stumbled onto your account, your photos, and then ultimately noticed your blogspot. (So much to say in this small box.)

    I admit that initially I was turned on by the photos and the Dominate attitude of your tweets. It quickly reminded me of a short time in my life 8 or so years ago that I was more than intrigued with the BDSM lifestyle I stumbled onto within Yahoo Chat - more specifically roleplay chat. (No longer in existance).

    Out of boredom and an unwillingness to sleep, I clicked on the link to your blog - landing me here on this post. I read it with a surprising awe and admiration because it was an unexpected in-depth viewpoint. An intelligent viewpoint that answered some of the questions that I had years ago.

    Needless to say, I finished this post and eagerly made my way to the very beginning. I read each one carefully, and I must say that I am hooked on how things turn out for you and L.

    At a minimum, this journey has been beautiful thusfar. As you described her personality type in the beginning of our journey, I found myself relating to her also in work. The decision maker, the boss, the dominate one who struggles with not continuing that role at home with the family and loved one.

    You see, I just came out of a long-term relationship that I truly feel ended because of my attitude, actions, and inability to sometimes let go of the reigns. Critical thinking and constant analysis. I couldn't let myself just enjoy and relax.

    My upbringing was very traditional and conservative, but I struggle with taking the submissive role because of work and being divorced for so long - depending on myself and making all decisions. I've often said that I have a strong personality, and it takes a man stronger than me to put up with me.

    This blog has renewed a curiosity and given me hope that maybe the right man will come along, still love me despite my faults and strong personality, and help me find this wonderful place that L has. With you. A man who has taken it upon himself to lead her into the submission she needs and craves to be happier. A healthy relationship that endures all things.

    I wish the best for you both, and I am now subscribed to be updated.

    Sorry for the length of this message, but I wanted to thank you for posting.

    A in the south

    1. Hello A....its L. I'm surprised S hasn't commented. Thank you for your kind words. I am not a tweeter or a blogger really. I just write on what I am assigned and grudgingly at that.

      He is out there. You just may find him in the oddest of places. Who knows, perhaps S and I have natural D/s tendencys were drawn to each other because of that. You have gotten over the biggest hurdle of knowing what does it for you and have wrapped your mind around it. So much easier to find what you are looking for when you know what it is you want.

  2. L, thank you for the comment. I wasn't expecting one from either of you. I just wanted to leave you two a comment of encouragement and also maybe acknowledging my own revelation while reading your blog.

    I hope and pray 'He' is out there. My next relationship doesn't have to be in the D/s context, but with my personality type, career status, issues/damage from past failed relationships, someone much stronger than me that I can trust would be divine relief for me. I blame myself for my last relationship failing and maybe the one before. Both were long term. My heart is completely broken because of failure - not necessarily over the man. I know that I need to make a big change in myself, how I interract with the man I may love in the future, and he will need to be so strong and loyal that I can relax and know that he's in control and not going anywhere. (My insecurities are visibliy showing now, and it's not attractive.) I'm seeing that the D/s relationship may be a great solution for someone like me. The only challenges I see - living in a small town with few choices already and that I'm from a Christian background. Now sure how I can reconcile that.. I think it's possible though.

    Anyway, thank you again. L, your posts are my favorite because it gives me hope. I need to see that a successful career woman that normally takes the lead can be ok with this and happy. I'm only a novice when it comes to this lifestyle, but I know it could only between me and Him. No one else involved. I'm hoping that's possible. I've been down the sharing path with my ex-husband, and I won't go down it again. I can't emotionally handle it.

    Have a nice week.

    A in the south