Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Sassy Sub

I have an exceptionally sassy sub, and that truthful statement that she would fully agree with has been mentioned in prior posts. It is one of the things that attracts me to her, she has a very witty sense of humor and loves being an (almost) constant smart ass.

A current challenge I am wrestling with, especially since her sassiness has escalated in previous days, is to find that balance between letting her be herself (a part that I enjoy) but not allowing her to overstep her boundaries and act in a manner that is disrespectful to me. I don't have as much patience with that behavior as I used to; she is aware of that and knows that I won't let her get anyway with anything. I am quick to point things out and unwavering in my punishing for her. I am mindful to be exceptionally consistent as in the past, lack of consistency has led to issues, in particular, her acting out out of confusion over what is expected of her.

So I gave her a writing assignment as I wanted her to reflect on that boundary; how does SHE feel about being true to her smartass personality while not being disrespectful to me. This is what she came up with. As I told her, not her best work, and I am somewhat offended of her criticism of my writing topics. I suppose it gives you a sense of what I have on my hands! As she well knows, her being a smart ass can lead to her having...an ass that smarts.

Like I said yesterday, wild horses are the ones worth taming the most.

Offer some reflection on how you feel, as a woman who is very sassy and accustomed to being a smartass, you are adjusting to being my sub 24/7 and having to balance between your outspoken behavior and being respectful towards me at all times.

Word for word, this is what I was sent to write about.  Jesus, please someone throw out a subject for me….S’s….well, they suck. 

I have no clue where to even start.  My first thought was to be a smartass and add a comma in a spot and just reflect on how I feel as a woman.  Then again, I guess that is how this became the subject.  For one thing, I am not as much as a smartass as I used to be.  S is the type to take things to heart and will think into a joke way too much so I had already toned it down before becoming his. 

My job is a very busy one.  Clients coming in to see me, co-workers, phone calls, deadlines, etc.  I think that is another reason I just can’t remember to text when I arrive or leave work.  Once here I switch modes completely and become the take charge person that I am.  Then at home things are a bit different of course.  I have been adjusting fine and things seem to be going well.  The respect part and showing it always has done nothing but help us.   


  1. I was going to comment on the most recent post, but Conina said it so much more eloquently than I could have. I agree with everything she said, especially about not pulling away when your submissive pulls away.

    I am glad you two talk a lot and are honest about things. Times can be very dark and difficult indeed but I have a feeling you will both make it through together and be stronger for it.

    hugs, squirrel

  2. I came to check here and found you'd pulled the previous post. I hope my comment wasn't the reason. Soliciting advice from those who have been at this stuff for a while is one of the most valid reasons to post.

    (thank you, squirrel)

  3. Hi squirrel and Conina:

    Conina, thank you very much for you candid feedback on my post. No, that was not the reason I deleted the post. It was one of those postings where I reread it the next morning and just didn't like what i had written...I suppose i was even actually embarrassed about it to some extent.

    What both of you have said is completely spot on. I struggle with my role during these hard times, and thankfully I am self aware to realize when I do things wrong and what to do differently the next time. I am also exceptionally thankful to the followers of this blog who have offered feedback and support as L and I have made this journey together, and in the case of this posting, and the feedback from the two of you, to remind me to pull my head out of my ass. There is too much at stake here to do things different.

    All the best, and thank you again.

  4. I got a chuckle out of this one. For L, I can relate and for S, my Sir could relate. Lol. I read this to him and teased him about not being the only one to deal with a smartass. It is difficult keeping boundaries in joking and taking things to heart. One rule I've learned, the hard way, was NEVER try to joke ( smartass) while in the company of others and Sir explains it as others don't understand sarcasm and playfulness all the time. They may interpret it as disrespect in our relationship.