Where to begin, I suppose...the weekend that I talked about in the last posting did not go as planned, not anywhere close, and it was, by any definition, just a really, really bad weekend. For me, finding the reason why it went so poorly is simple as looking in the mirror. I fucked up. Plain and simple.
I don't care to elaborate on the details too much, because the good thing is that despite that fuck up on my end and some very emotional interactions between L and I...even heated words at times...we have managed, once again, to climb out from yet another mess and find ourselves back in a good place, I dare say better than before, and our ability to do that was because of open and honest communication, a must in any successful relationship.
I think any man who assumes the role of being a Dominant is in some way, a complex man. There is nothing simple about a Dominants desire to do the things that he does, just as there is nothing simple about s submissive's desire to do the things that she does. It is a mix of so many different components --- psychological, sexual, emotional, etc. --- that often times compete against each other, each one trying to rise to the top.
It's a complex relationship, but absolutely beautiful at the same time. In the case of L and I, we are trying to sort our way through it while navigation other complications in our lives. Those other complications, particularly on my end and how I reacted to them, are what caused last weekend to turn to shit.
I talked about in the last posting how last weekend was going to be a pushing of limits, and it did turn out that way....just not in the bedroom and not with a cane.
This beautiful woman that I have the good fortune of crawling into bed with each night, she and I, well, we have been through a lot, my readers. The blog has not told our whole story. We'd like to keep some things to ourselves, thank you very much.
I don't think there are a lot of couple out there who could have weathered the storms we have traveled through and still be standing, but she and I are. I have talked before about how important D/s has been to help us do that, but at the same time, it is something more than that. What that thing is is pure love, plain and simple. And like so many other people who are in love, other people who, like us, are a little messed up at times, we make mistakes and we don't treat each other as if we are so in love.
But it is there always.
Plain and simple.
p.s. Yesterday I bought a Hitachi for L and last night we took it for a test drive. I'll talk about that in my next posting..I promise!