Thank you to all of you who commented on yesterday's post and offered some very insightful and frank observations, opinions and ideas on the matter. Rather than go through and reply to each comment individually, I am going to write a whole new post.
For starters, I think I probably came off a little more bullheaded and arrogant on this issue than I actually am. I would never completely shut L down on any issue or idea that she brought to the table; it's not how I operate as a Dom nor is it how we operate as a couple where open communication and conversation has made us as strong as we are today.
Also, there was an element of humor to some of what I said, as well as some of the things L told me. I certainly don't perceive this question as being a million dollar question (at best, maybe $10.73) it was just the term we had thrown out there when we were discussing it. And I certainly don't feel that L wanted to try thing on me as a form of revenge; that comment was in jest.
Having said all that, let me now say this.
You people made some damn good comments and put this in a different perspective for me. Maybe for both of us, but I will let L comment on that.
Now, I have tried some of the different instruments before using them on her, but not that often. I have used the nipple clamps on me and have sometimes smacked my leg or hand with the paddle, cane or flogger. Not that hard though. Certainly not as hard as I have used them on L. Conina, I completely understand where your husband is coming from! L has used items on me before in a playful manner.
So after taking in all of the comments last night, running them through my mind, I threw it out to L that perhaps this evening I should grant her some time to try some of the things on me.
Here's the thing.
She didn't want to.
Would be too odd, she said. And right now since she has been slipping from her submissive mindset, it might be the wrong thing to do.
In most cases when we have talked about her trying things on me, it has been in a joking manner. She has an ongoing joke, for instance, about pegging me. We joke a lot in our relationship. Part of TTWD. Part of that ongoing joke...and I think there is an element of seriousness to this...is that L might really really like it if she was given control for a bit. Keep in mind what I say in the intro. to this blog, going into our D/s relationship we were switching from her being the aggressor to me.
Do I think that underneath my timid little sub there is a whip cracking, cock caging Domina wanting to come out?
No, I don't.
However, I will say that my timid little, meek as a mouse sub is one damn physically strong woman. And she could do quite well in that role...if it was her true nature.
But it's not.
Last night in bed we had a prolonged session with the cane, her slipping deep into subspace where she almost stopped reacting altogether as the cane came down, harder and faster, lashing across her ass.
This time I did something different. After every 50 or so, I hit myself on the leg with it a few times, at the same intensity I was hitting her.
I am not sure how she does it.
That motherfucker STINGS.
Have a great weekend everybody.