A couple of summers ago I started writing a short story called "The New Bed." The story was about mine and L's relationship, which, even back then, we felt had the makings of a great story, the kind where the remark "You can't make this shit up" was applicable. Little did we know back then that we had only scratched the surface, and, looking back at it now, what was going on in our relationship back then would only be a chapter in a larger novel compared to all that has happened since then. This was way before we entered the D/s relationship and way before L's husband she was separated from was diagnosed with cancer -- interestingly enough, both of those life changing events happened within weeks of each other in May 2012. First the D/s relationship at the beginning of the month, then, a couple of weeks later, the cancer discovery. This blog started at the same time, and chronicles all that we have gone through.
If the first part of your relationship fell into the "You can't make this shit up" category then all that has happened since then would be in the "You have to be fucking kidding me" category.
Really...it has been a journey from Day One...not Day One of the D/s relationship, but Day One from where we first met. I truly think we are a rarity, that there are very few relationships out there that could have survived what we have been through, but here we are...and as I commented to L this morning, things are way better than they ever have been. We are so strong as a couple right now, and quite simply, there is no better feeling.
I was calling the short story "The New Bed" because we were always wanting to have our own bed. This was summer of 2011 when I wrote this, and we were going back and forth on me moving in with her, into her house, the house she had lived in with her husband, had raised and was raising her children in. Every aspect of the house was a reflection of her life, of her family life, and at times, we struggled with that fact, I suppose me more so than her. But maybe not. We didn't always communicate well back then, certainly not like we do now, so I don't think either one of us did a very good job of expressing how we were feeling about everything. I think that is one of the reasons I started writing that short story, which I shared with her, as it was a way for me to express some of what I was feeling. I have always done a much better with the written word than the spoken word.
We wanted a bed to call our own. One that we purchased together, and thought/knew that something like that would help us move ahead in the process of creating OUR life together...of making a present and future that did not feel so haunted by the past. We wanted a nice king sized bed.
We talked about it a lot, but never got around to doing it. We literally plundered ahead in our relationship, side stepping issues, finding moments of really good times and moments where things were, meh, not that good.
Yesterday, after L got off work, we went to the local furniture store and did it.
We bought our bed.
We did more than just buy a new bed, we got a whole new bedroom set, and I wrote a check that was much bigger than any check I had written in recent memory, but by god, I didn't care, because we wanted this. Needed this. It might seem, on surface, to be somewhat materialistic, because couples don't necessarily need possessions to be together, it's about love, commitment, trust, yada yada..I get that. But L and I have those things. And this was a very symbolic purchase for us. It was the first major purchase as a couple. And of course, it matters a great deal that it was for the bedroom. A dining room table or new TV would not have the same impact.
We already knew what set we wanted as we had been there before. We arrived at the store five minutes before closing and one of the employees came over to help us (in a hurry as she wanted to get out of there) so we made her day when we pointed to the bedroom set we wanted and the mattress we wanted. With the mattress set she asked us if we wanted a waterproof protector for it, we gave each other a quick glance, because if there was anything we needed for a mattress that we were going to fuck on, it was a waterproof protector. We're messy like that.
The set was on back order, so it is not going to be until early April when our new bedroom is assembled. We have other work to do...wallpaper stripping, painting, new drapes, etc...to make the room ours. That place where at the end of the day we retreat to after the kids have gone to sleep, where we lock the door, turn the TV up a little, and do that thing we do. Where we fall asleep together, satisfied, at peace, happy and in love.
So the new bed is purchased, and with that comes a very good feeling. But the book is far from over. We are both aware there are going to be many more chapters to come.
Yup, a good feeling indeed.
But not as good of a feeling it is going to be when we break it in for the first time.
That will be a posting yet to come.