Leap Year

While on vacation, L and I watched a movie called "Leap Year" (no, not the romantic comedy that came out a couple of years ago with Amy Adams). It was a somewhat BDSM themed movie in Spanish with subtitles that centered on a single woman living in Mexico City. The whole movie took place in her apartment, and the cinematography was poor at best. She was not an attractive woman, rather frumpy, but when nude ( as she was often in the movie) she had an attractive sexuality to her.

In the movie she would go out at nights and bring home a different man to fuck her. The sex was raw, a bit of coldness to it. One night she meets up with an abusive man she brings back to her apartment. The first night together, he fucks her from behind while spanking her ass and pulling her hair.

From there, the intensity of what they do escalates. One night she waits for him, naked and kneeled, and when he comes into her apartment, he slaps her to the floor and then puts a foot on her chest while he pisses on her.

The scene that stood out is the two of them in bed together, her head on his chest. She is jerking him off, and it is quite visible (the movie was NR). As she jerks him off, she is whispering in his ear about what she wants him to do. She tells him he wants him to take a knife and slit her throat, and fuck her while he does. She tells him to smear the blood on her while he fucks her and comes inside of her. She tells him to cut a hole in her throat and to fuck her there. All the time, she is stroking him, and in the movie, his head is visible while her hand works on him.

We didn't expect to watch the entire movie, it was on Netflix and we watched it on my laptop. But we stuck through the whole thing, somewhat mesmerized by the bleakness of the movie. The ending was odd. The BDSM scenes were not necessarily that hot, but they were real. I found myself aroused by the aforementioned scene, and I think it was what inspired me for the knife play the other night.

I recommend the movie to my followers. If you dig into the depths of Netflix, you will find similar movies that you might not want to admit to your friends that you watch.

When I get aroused by such matters, I find myself surprised sometimes. Once upon a time, in a world before I met L, what aroused me was fairly vanilla. Then again, I was in a sexless marriage, so any aspect of intimacy aroused me. These days, the things that arouse me are much darker. Missionary sex would no longer do it, I'm afraid. I need a hand on the throat of my lover. I need marks that I leave behind. I need hair to be pulled, a mouth to be fucked. I need force and control, pain and discipline.

I try not to question it, to accept it. It helps when I am in bed with L and doing these things, and her back is arched, and she whimpers in that way she does, and her wetness covers my fingers. It is then that I accept it, ignore everything else, and let the darkness turn to light as I slide inside of her.

I came in pet's mouth...

I came in pet's mouth, not once, but twice this weekend. In a typical D/s relationship that might not be so out of the norm, but as I have talked about here before, L has not been a big fan of me coming in her mouth for reasons related to quantity. If it is that time of the month, I will usually have her suck me off until the last minute and then I will shove her to her back and come all over her, which is enjoyable in itself. I've been respectful to her in that manner. Ever the kind Dom, me.

It was a shame that our weekend to reconnect coincided with that time of the month. We tend to be more tolerate in that area than a lot of other couples. I have no issues with a little blood downstairs, and I suppose the dark side of me likes the twisted aspect of it. Still, we will usually improvise when the arrival comes. Me going without an orgasm is not an option, so it is up to L to make that happen, with whatever optional hole she can provide.

The first time I came in her mouth was in our hotel room in the middle of the day. We were just lounging, taking a nap, and L was cuddled up against me, and eventually I was grabbing the back of her hair and guiding her down to my lap. She took me in her mouth, slowly sucking on me in that amazing way she does, and I realized it was probably time we stop with this nonsense and I used her mouth in the manner it was meant.

But like I said..ever the kind Dom, me! So when I came, I allowed her to spit it back out into a tissue. That in itself was step above how we normally approach that matter.

The second time was in the car on the way back home. L was driving. She will usually drive on road trips, I don't mind. I like to sit back and enjoy the scenery and control the music. We were driving along a fairly remote highway, surrounded by wilderness and mountain ranges so spectacular they would make you cry (if you were the type of person to cry because of majestic mountain ranges). We were talking about the night before (see posting below) and that got us excited, and before long, I had a noticeable bulge in my jeans that L reached over and caressed while driving.

"Do you want me to pull over?" she asked.

That seemed like a good idea, I thought, but wasn't quite ready yet. We kept driving, and eventually my hard on went down.

Then the talk turned to sex again, and the rise came back, and L asked again if she should pull over and I said that was a good idea.

"Whatever you want," she said.

We found a place to pull over, a rest stop tucked off of the highway, in the wilderness. L let off a bit of a whimper when she pulled over, perhaps the memory of the day before when I came in her mouth was still in the back of her mind...or in the back of her mouth.

I pulled myself out, hard and waiting for her.

She leaned over to my side of the car and took me in her mouth and started sucking, her head bobbing up and down on my shaft while her hand did her work. It was exquisite. Part of what I enjoy about a blowjob from L is how much SHE enjoys it. Slightly ravenous, like the good pet she is.

A car passed by us and she stopped while it went by. How much they might have seen, we don't know. The back of our car was obscured by boxes so unlikely they saw anything.

She went back to the task at hand.

The thought of almost getting caught got my mind wandering as L sucked me off, the midday sun beating down upon us through the windshield, the moisture from her mouth glistening on my cock. I thought of us being watched. Another couple. And how perhaps, while watching, they might have been mesmerized. And aroused. And perhaps, while watching L suck on me, they might have groped for each other. She might have taken his cock and started stroking on it. He might have snuck his hand down her pants and started fingering her, both of them watching us, touching each other.

Yes, there is a voyeuristic tendency to me.

So I came in her mouth for a second time that weekend, and this time she didn't spit all of it into the tissue, she also had to lean over and spit some of it on the ground. I suppose I could be upset that she would waste something she was supposed to find so precious, but you know, baby steps.

She pulled out of the rest stop and hit the highway again. I played a song. It might have been "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac or it could have been "Night Moves" by Bob Seger. I'm not sure, to be honest. I do know I leaned over and gave L a good tug on the back of her hair and told her "Good girl."

I leaned back in my seat and enjoyed the warmth of the sun as L and I...as we do each and everyday...continued on our journey.

branded

Yesterday was a fairly significant day in the journey of S and L.

After we got into the city from our vacation on the coast and checked into our hotel room, I sent L on her way to shop while I stopped by a tattoo parlor. I had been meaning to have L's name tattooed on my arm as a way to demonstrate to her just how serious I am about her and us.

I am not a tattoo person, per se. I have a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for "Hope" that I got on my right arm a couple of years ago, but the whole idea of body art is one that never appealed to me, and I suspect the one I got yesterday will be the last.

L and I are going to get married eventually, and I suppose that is the sure fire way to commit one's devotion to another. But this something I wanted to do, wanted to do to prove to her, especially in the wake of last week's setback.

It wasn't too elaborate, a nice cursive font across the upper left arm. Not too big, not too small. It was...just right. I believe L was genuinely touched by the gesture, the seriousness of what it implied.

We went out to dinner, then went and saw a friend of L's. In between there was a stop at Lowes hardware store. I didn't pack much for our trip because, as I stated before, I wasn't sure how much of our trip was going to go beyond the vanilla. But by then, it was clear that things were going to be ok, and I wanted our last night before returning home to be...just right.

I didn't expect things to go like they did.

I picked up some rope and a small pocketknife. My intention was to take advantage of the bed posts in our hotel room to have a popular restraining session with L, something that was a long time coming. It's always difficult to do at home, because I could have L completely bound to the bed and the next thing, a child would be knocking at the door.

When we got back to the room we had a bath together at the hotel's oversized bathtub. L was in the middle of that time of the month, so our options for what we were going to do was slightly limited. L did a nice job cleaning me up, soaping up my cock through the water while the other hand caressed around my balls. I was hard in no time, and ready for the next steps.

Back in the bed. L, naked and face down on the bed. I cut off strands of the rope and soon had her hands tied to the posts, and then her legs. She was quickly helpless, restrained, and ready for whatever I wanted to do to her.

It began with a caning, and then I used the heavy rope that was holding back the curtains in our room. There was little warming up, and I kept at it for a long time, while she whimpered and moaned with her "Please Sir" that she always does.

I am not sure what brought on what happened next, but then I was against her, my hard cock pressing against her ass. I reached over to the table and got the small pocket knife and opened the blade and then, slowly, ran it along the middle of her back.

She shivered.

A red stripe, somewhat faint, appeared.

I repeated.

And repeated.

And repeated.

I brought it across her back diagonally, vertically, and horizontally. I ran it along her buttocks. The marks that were appearing were...lovely. Her reaction was...lovely. At one point I whispered in her ear, asked her how she was doing.

"It feels nice," she said, barely at a whisper.

I kept at it. Then went back to the caning. By then, I was aching for release. The thrill of this new activity...the affect it had on her...had me at my limits, and I needed something.

She was the one who suggested she had a bottle of lotion in her purse that could be used as lube.

(if you are reading this post as an introduction to our blog, let me just say that L does not like anal with me. I am flattered for the reason why)

I was not as gentle sliding into her ass as I have been the few other times we have had anal sex. I was looking down at her back, decorated with the red welts that I gave her, and the whole experience....combined with what we had gone through the last week, combined with the fact that her name was branded for life across my arm...I just did not really care about her comfort level. I needed penetration. I needed to violate her.

And I did, she barely made a fuss, only asking that once I was inside of her and sliding in and out of her tightness, asking me to please come soon, and it didn't take me long at all, really...

As I dripped out of her, I cleaned her off, then untied her, and held her, and she curled into me, whimpering a little, as I told her how pleased I was with her. She asked to wear a shirt to bed because of the stings of her welts. I told her she could.

Sleep came easy for both of us. We both fell asleep, L's back branded with the marks I gave her that are still there today, me branded with her name proudly across my arm for the rest of my life. We fell asleep branded...and very much satisfied that that was the case.

The Bruised Dom

I've blogged here a few times about how it is very difficult to bruise L. Even after the more extreme sessions, where we lose track of how many times the cane or flogger has been used on her, we are always surprised the next morning to wake up and find not a single mark. I think early on bruising occurred, but nothing like we would see on spanking tumblr sites or elsewhere. L seems to have an invincible ass of sorts.

This morning is no exception. We had a great session last night in our vacation hotel room, an ideal setting. We have a window and small deck facing the ocean, and the ocean comes up pretty close to the edge of the hotel. Parallel to the bed is a rather large mirror, so as I worked over L last night, I could watch the activity in the mirror and in the mirror, the reflection of the ocean. The only downside was the bed was extremely noisy, so if you were in the room next to us, I apologize for the sound of the headboard smacking against the wall.

Just now I asked L if she was sore.

"What do you want to hear?" she asked.

"The truth," I said.

"No," she said quietly.

Meanwhile, on yours truly...

This is the bruise L created on ME when she gave me my punishment caning of three strikes the other night. Just three, but the evidence is there more than it ever is on L after close to an hour of a session.

Yeah, I don't get it either.

"Such a delicate flower!" L remarks. Smart ass.

Oddly enough, L bruises rather easily in other areas. But on her ass....that's another story.

Funny thing, this lifestyle. When she bruised before, she was proud of them. I was proud of them. Marking my territory, so to speak.

I suppose there are always bite marks...those are effective. Or maybe we need new toys. I am throwing this out to the readers, to the bruised and bruisers amongst you, to ask you, what do you find most effective for leaving marks on the one you own?

We're leaving our little vacation town today, heading home, but first, one more overnight in another city. There are sex shops there, and we could take advantage of being anonymous and paying a visit. Maybe it is time for something new. Sooner rather than later would be good, because whenever L sees me naked and glances at the mark she left me, she gets a pretty big smile on her face.

On the beach

The Punishing of S

Hello.

It's us.

Thanks to all of you who have commented on our postings below as we have sorted through a rather complicated and ugly situation. I was not sure where things were going to go, to be honest. At one point I thought our vacation was going to be canceled. Things at our home...our sanctuary, our place of peace...were just...uncomfortable, it seemed.

But we went on our vacation. a drive across the state to the shore. We left in great spirits, determined to have a good time, and it came naturally right away, the joy of getting away from day to day life. We talked and laughed the entire drive, listened to music, talked...enjoyed each other's company. Last night we went out on the town, had drinks, a good dinner. The stress of last week seemed so far away.

Then we got back to our hotel room, slightly tipsy from the night out. We had not had sex since the weekend, we had not had a session since then as well. I almost did not pack anything from my box of tricks, thinking that we would have, at best, a vanilla weekend. At the last minute I tossed the cane and collar into the suitcase.

We were in our room, and I don't remember what happened exactly. But it was L who got the cane out and got up on the bed. It was L who said we needed closure for this, that she needed to feel better once and for all, and that I needed to feel better once and for all. She was...stern. She was...domme like.

"You need to be punished," she said.

"I am punishing myself internally already," I said.

"It has to be more," she said. "We need to get past this."

I wanted to do anything to get past this.

"Turn over," she said, brandishing the cane.

"I don't want that," I said. "That's not me."

"I need this to make things right," she said.

I turned over and removed my underwear.

"Three times," she said.

I braced myself.

The first one came down.

It hurt. Bad.

"Fuck!" I said.

"Don't make it worse," she said.

The next one came down. Then the next.

Note to fellow Doms: That motherfucker HURTS.

She put the cane down.

"There," she said. "We're done. I forgive you."

She reached over the bed and grabbed her collar and handed it to me and kneeled before me.

I put it on her.

From L

Words. They do hit harder than a fist. Everytime I've ever been hit it just pissed me off. This was horrible. Embarassing....was said in front of my late husbands friends. I felt like I was hit....hard. Then the texts. And the bad thing is, he really meant it at the time. What he called me was what he considered me. It is the exact same words I was called many times over. I feel so much doubt right now. Maybe thats what I am if everyone I ever cared about say so. I doubt my morals....my decisions......myself right now. I feel that being submissive to anyone is also tied to what he called me. Perhaps if I were more reserved I would get some respect??? I just dont know. I know S has thrown his apology words out there but if I believe them then shouldnt I believe his other words also?

Thank you...

..to everyone below who had such nice things to say. Thought it would be better to post than to reply to each one. 

I would like to say that things have gone from worse to better since I posted, but it seems just the opposite. What I did and said was too similar to what has happened to L in past relationships, so it has, in effect, opened up a can of worms that I am just not sure how to deal with at this point. How many times can I say I am sorry? I'll continue to do so.

Doms like to be in control. It is part of who we are, and what we do. Right now, with L, there is not much control. I'm struggling with how to make things better with her. Our vacation is in two days, but as she told me today, she is not really looking forward to it.  I will still push for it, demand that we go on it. We need it. We need the us time, we needed it before this, and we need it now. 

It would be so nice if things could be...simple. As simple as Dominant and sub, Master and slave, collared and leashed, caned and flogged. But, they are not. We are who we are. We harbor feelings and emotions, and some of us have demons inside that we try to run from and deny their existence.

And we have baggage. It seems that many of us who enter D/s relationships do so because of things that have happened in our past. We enter this manner of relationship not just because of satisfaction, but it helps us with things that have happened to us that we wish hadn't. 

L and I have baggage. We have baggage from our past with other relationships, we have baggage from our own relationship. We try to store that baggage in a closet, keep it out of sight and mind, but sometimes, the closet door bursts at the hinges, and the baggage comes spilling out, out into the open, and it is there for us to observe and acknowledge.

This is one of those times.

Thank you again for your kindness. 

The Imperfect Dom

I wish I could say I don't make mistakes.

I wish I could start this posting by telling you I do not say things, do things, that hurt L. I wish I could tell you I am a man of few flaws, who does not have moments where he screws up.

I suppose if I could say all of that, I would not be human.

But still.

I should not say or do things that hurt L.

But I did.

Where to begin. It was an off week last week for us. I was, once again, busy and stressed with things at work. I was dealing with some emotional issues and internal struggles that had to do with my own children, who live with their mom about 3,000 miles from me.  L was doing all that was required of her, but something seemed to be off with her. There were a few times during the week she slipped and didn't do all that she was required. Some of the things she couldn't do because she had been without a cell phone for more than a week, and that impacted things like texting me when she leaves and arrives the office, etc.

L confessed to me at one point last week that she felt bored, not necessarily with what we did in the bedroom, but just in general, the day to day routine of couples who work, work, work, and come home, and clean house, and entertain children. We decided to shake things up a bit, and are planning a trip out of town this weekend, just to the two of us....and my box of tricks.

It's too bad that trip didn't happen sooner.

What can I say, here...I met up with L Friday evening at the local bar, somewhat soured and frustrated with what I outlined above. I was tired and cranky, so the best choice for me would have been to just go home. Or to have left my troubles at the door. I brought them inside the bar with me, and my mood didn't improve as the evening when on and the beers were consumed. At one point I saw something happen out of the corner of my eye that I took out of context, and I walked up to L and said something to her I wish I hadn't said.

She stormed out, I followed. We were in separate cars. I went home, she didn't right away, but then did, and we argued, and she left again. I sent her some angry texts. She came back, and we argued a little more, but then we just stopped, and we talked and talked about different things, and went to sleep without anything.

The next morning we woke up, Saturday...our day to sleep in. We slept in a little, and talked some more about other things, some things with my kids that I was dealing with, some things about us. We had makeup sex. Then we went about our Easter weekend, shopping and getting the house ready, coloring eggs, making baskets. Saturday night came, and we had a pretty good session, then did our big Easter celebration, and had another session last night. Not much was really said of Friday.

But it was there, and as we made our way into Monday...back to reality, it came back up. It had never really left. I had hurt L with my words...and it was my words that meant the most to her...and it was ugly. L tried to forget, but by the end of the day, she admitted to me it was hard, and that she was still hurt.

Which I knew. And hated. Hated that I caused that. No worse feeling that hurting the ones you love. In particular, a relationship such as ours where I should be the protector. The safety net. The one who holds L, with large hands around her, making sure she knows that everything is going to be ok.

I suppose a perfect Dom would always do that, but I am the imperfect Dom. Inside of me there is a dark side, maybe just a little sliver, but dark nonetheless. For the most part, I reveal that darkness through what L describes as my twisted side that she loves. That's a healthy release of it. The other release...not so much. Not for anyone. Not for me. And certainly not for L.

I do know we will be ok. We always are. You people have read this blog, the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations. We leave on our vacation in three days, and even though it is just a road trip in the state, it will be the first time she and I have been alone for awhile, our first time alone since some significant changes in our lives, and the first break I will have taken since I started my new job in January. We will have fun. We will laugh and talk, eat too much food, drink too much. We will make good use of the hotel room and no children. Neglected items in the box of tricks will be utilized.

But still.

I should not say or do things that hurt L.

But I did.

And really, really, really wish I had not.

I do know

What happened for last night's "let's get things back in order" session.

I took L to town.

I did everything that I told her I was going to do, starting off with the shower where she kneeled before me while I pissed on her tits. From there, we moved to the bedroom. I attached the spreader bar on her and began caning her...spanking her....we were without the middle child, so we could be louder than usual. I brought out the paddle and the wooden spoon and used them on her so extensively that they broke. The picture shows that.

This was all done on a live webcam on adult friend finder, and as I took care of her, the number of views went up. So I'm a bit of a show off. I like to position L's ass right in front of the camera so that she is slightly spread open while I take care of her ass. I like to see the number of viewers go up. I like the comments that come in, men and women alike. Admiring her pussy. Admiring her ass. Asking me to make it redder. Asking me to spread her. Wishing they could...lick her. Fuck her.

All of this happened for about an hour, one of our longer sessions. As instruments broke, I replaced them with others. We tried using the anal hook but with less than successful outcomes, we shall have to work on that one. I fucked her pussy with a large dildo. All of this happened for about an hour. I reminded her of her submission, of the fact that she was a whore, that she was OWNED by me.

Slut.

Slut.

Slut.

All of this happened for about an hour. Her ass was red as can be by the end, marked and scarred. From there we moved on to the sucking....the fucking....the coming.

This morning.

This morning, I expected to find lying next to me a bruised and sore little pet, but she was fine. The only indication of the severity of the session was the broken piece of paddle in the bed. How she manage to remain unscathed the next day is beyond the both of us. Her ass is like a clean canvas today, unmarred, unscathed.

Her mind though? As submissive as can be.

I don't know

...what has gotten into L this week but she is not her usual submissive self. Has been a bit on the mouthy side, and has not been as mindful of her tasks and routine as she is supposed to. Today is Fucktoy Friday and I started the day by branding her, writing "Fuck Toy Slut" right above her cunt before sending her to work for the day. I sent her a very elaborate message on what I would be doing to her tonight.

On Fucktoy Friday she is supposed to do kegel exercises for one minute at the top of every hour, then text me to let me know she had done it by stating "I have exercised your pussy for you Sir." Her phone has not been working, so today I told her she would have to email me. Was very clear in my instructions to her. I told her that she needed to do this at the top of every hour, and had until 10 minutes after the hour to report to me. Any time that went past 10 minutes after the hour would equal a punishment.

She was having problems with her personal email as well, it turns out, so she only delivered three out of the seven times she was supposed to have. She tried to use the excuse that she didn't want to say those words on her work email, but as I told her, there were ways around it that she could have done, or she could have asked me for permission to not do it, or something....instead, she chose to just do nothing, and was not even apologetic about it.

I had an exceptionally busy week this week, with some stressful things come up at work that I had to deal with, so I was not as attentive to her during the day as I normally am. Perhaps she acted up because of that. I find that frustrating, because with the extra stress at work, I could have used an extra submissive pet to help deflect from the stress, instead I find myself in a position of having to work extra hard to set things right with her.

I have some elaborate things planned for tonight. It's late, will be putting the youngest to bed here soon and the other son is at a friend's house for the night. We will have a little more freedom than we normally do, so I plan on taking advantage of that. We will be starting in about half an hour when I force her to shower with me and she drops to her knees in the shower while I piss on her. Mark my territory. Remind her of her place.

From there.....

Well, from there.

You will have to wait. But I will tell you.

What happened

You silly people.

Getting inquiries as to what happened to L as a result of her infraction that I referenced below. So curious! Even you subs who read this, who in large part, empathize with L and wish her no punishment, but still...still...you want to know.

Curiosity killed the sub. A solid caning brought her back.

Anyway, the punishment.

I think in all respects it was fairly mild, and probably predictable. On Monday night, during our session and the fucking that occurred afterwards, she was not allowed to come. Her punishment was a 24 hour denial of orgasm, and maybe it should have been longer, but the truth be told (don't you dare tell her) that I derive pleasure from her orgasms. Those sounds she makes. The way her cunt squeezes me.

So I left it at 24 hours.

Oh, she suffered through it, I suppose. I abused that cunt that night. I fingered it and stroked it, slapped at it and rubbed it. I put her on display through a live webcam, which we do from time to time through Adult Friend Finder. I caned her ass in front of our virtual audience, stopping from time to time to spread her wide open and tell her how many more people were watching. She sucked my cock. I fucked her, and I fucked her hard, and I came, and I came hard.

She, however, did not.

I left her there, wet and tingly, fuzzy in sub space, as I fell asleep, more than satisfied.

Last night...

Last night I allowed her to come. I worked her over through a solid session and then I pounded her hard from behind, and made her beg to come. She begged. I allowed. She came.

Afterwards.

Afterwards, as we started to go to sleep, she asked permission if she could touch herself, if needed, to help her go to sleep.

No, was the answer.

Not just yet.

I touch myself....

We had just completed a pretty intense session last night, where, shortly afterwards, I had fallen asleep. We had a very nice Sunday with a family trip ice fishing and L and I catching up on a couple of our favorite shows. I consider Sunday night sessions very important, the most important of any night, as it sets the tone for the rest of the week. L assumes a rather dominant personality in her work place, so reminding her of her place with me is important.

Anyway...it was a good session, and as I said, I fell asleep shortly afterwards. At some point...maybe a few minutes later...I woke up. And next to me, the bed was moving, and L was letting off her sighs...sighs that I more than recognized as orgasms.

L had touched herself. L had came. Without asking permission.

She asks me of this every now and then, wanting one final release to help her go to sleep. It doesn't matter how many times I make her come, there is one more waiting in her, that final one that sends her into slumber. It turns me on. I like to whisper in her ear while she is doing it, her finger making a circular motion on her clit. "Imagine my cock inside of you," I say. "Imagine me fucking you..."

She will put her fingers in her mouth. She will get them wet. She will use that wetness to rub her clit.

"That pussy you are rubbing, that is MY pussy," I tell her, often times pulling at her nipple. "If you come, you come for me."

I allow my pet to masturbate...to touch herself..in my presence...with my permission.

I'll hold her while she comes. While she bucks her hips under fingers. While she makes those....sounds...that turn me on so.

Insatiable little pet.

I allow her to touch herself.

I do not let her do it without my permission.

That is a rule of the contract. It is straightforward, it is a no brainer, if you ask me. So imagine my surprise to wake up last night and find L in the throes of orgasm as she fingered her clit. The clit that I own. Having an orgasm that belongs to me.

Without my permission.

"I'm disappointed in you," were the first words out of my mouth, after she realized she had been caught.

She wanted to be punished right then and there, on the spot, but I told her I did not have the punishment yet and it would have to wait until tomorrow, and that it would not necessarily be the type of punishment that would be administered via pain. This would be...this would be...a punishment fits the crime scenario.

It's forthcoming, tonight, and I will not tell you what it is because L will find out what it is, and I want to wait and tell L what it is when I have her in bed, naked before me, the cane in my hand. The collar around her neck.

It's simple.

There are rules.

Rules state that you stop when there is a stop sign, that you do not drive 55, that you do not drink if you are under 21.

That you do NOT touch yourself and come without Sir's permission.

That is the way it is.

Surprises

After I emailed L a rather elaborate fantasy I had involving watching her engaged in a session with another sub, she confessed to me that she is no longer surprised by my twisted mind. I don't know if that is necessarily true, I think I still have the ability to surprise her...perhaps, L, as you read this, you should know that I am saving the darkest aspects of my kinky mind for last! 

I surprise myself still. I do find myself surprised by the power of my Dominance at times, during those times when it kicks into high gear. Just as there is sub space, I believe there is Dom space, the difference being is that there is more control..well, all control...in Dom space. Nonetheless, it surprises me. It surprises me the thoughts that run through my mind, the things I want to do to L...want her to do to me. What makes it all incredibly delicious is knowing that whatever those thoughts are....I can make them happen.

What L did tell me is that she surprises herself..her reactions to TTWD. Last night was the perfect example...not once, but twice. We did not have a session or any sex the day before, L was quite under the weather so we had one of those rare days where nothing happened. So by the next day...poor us!...we were both wound up. We were both in need of release, in our own separate ways.

We had a good session last night. It started off with me watching one of the better soft core porn movies I had seen in a long time, on Showtime, that featured a young woman discovering her sexuality. Lots of scenes of masturbation...women loving women...that was done in a tasteful and ntimate manner that got me highly aroused. I have had these fantasies (as I said above) of seeing my pet with another sub, and the manner in which it was presented in the movie got my blood flowing.

L sucked on me while I watched for awhile, my hand on top of her head, guiding her. I was beyond hard, and realized that if she kept it up, I wouldn't be keeping it up for awhile. So I made her stop.

We watched for a bit longer, than I instructed L to get ready for bed. The spreader bar came out, and she was restrained. The collar was put on. She raised her ass, eager for me. First with the new cane, strike after strike after strike. This was followed by the flogger, which I used not just on her ass, but across the backs of her legs, up along the back..whipping it this way and that. Pet was silent for most of it, but then she started moaning and writhing underneath the lashes.

"I give you permission to come," I told her. "I direct you to come."

More flogging...lash after lash, and L's moans got louder and then she came, came without any stimulation of her clit, came without being fucked...she came from flogging, one of the few times that it has happened.

I was still possessing an erection an hour into the making, so after more time with the cane, I spread her legs apart and entered her forcefully, and though I pride myself on being able to last long, I had no desire to do so that time, and came quickly...and hard.

We lie there for a bit afterwards, and L was still wound up, I knew she was in need of another orgasm (she rarely is content with just one, or two....) so she asked if she could touch herself.

"No," I said. "You cannot."

She pouted. Said I was rude. As she did so, I was plugging in the Hitachi Magic Wand, and before she knew it, the vibrating end was pressed against her clit, and she was fucking up against it, my hand holding it in place, and in an even shorter amount of time than I did, she came....and released about as much fluid as I had just done.

Only as of late..and usually with the wand...has L become a squirter. She used to scoff at it before, saying that women who did it must be peeing, but she has since learned differently. She coated the end of the wand, my hand, and the majority of it on the front of her nightgown. 

Afterwards, I told her how proud of her I was. Proud that she came while being flogged, proud of the intensity of her orgasm. Proud of her wonderful sexuality. Prout to own...her.

No surprise there.

You say it's your birthday...

Birthdays in a D/s relationship are way different than a vanilla relationship. In a vanilla relationship, the gifts given from female to male fall into the gamut of Brut cologne, horrific ties, and tools intended for home improvement projects that never get done.

Yawn.

Last birthday, the first birthday L and I celebrated since entering the D/s realm, I was treated to a nice collection of "private" gifts (those opened long after the candles have been blown out and the children have been put to bed), which I blogged about here.

So what would 2014 hold?

My lovely little pet was fully aware of a couple of items I had on my wish list, and being the good girl she is, she presented them both to me. Like last year, the gifts were given the night before my birthday as opposed on the day of. I had some reservations this year. I did not get off work until 10p.m. and after a 14 hour work day, was not sure what level of energy I would have to use them in a proper manner.

Heh.

I had a good idea what two of the gifts were, what I did not suspect were the bonus gifts. I compliment my pet on all of them. None of them would necessarily fit into the category of being for her pleasure, she knew these were items I wanted that would give me pleasure, so she got them, even if the potential for being uncomfortable was there.

Lovely girl.

I have always wanted a spreader bar, so that was one of them, and we did try that one out last night, and it was better than I thought. In terms of restraining, it worked much better than the standard cuffs and ropes we have used in the past. It is very restrictive, and there is something oh so arousing about the weight and the masculinity about the bar itself. I put it on her last night, even in a state of exhaustion, and once attached, took the new cane she got me ( a more flexible version of the one she got last year) used it across her, rather severely. I no longer warm her up like I used to, when I bring the cane or flogger out, the impact is IMMEDIATE. The presence is immediately known. I see no reason to waste time these days. I see no reason to be gentle, to be sensitive to her "needs" since it has NOTHING to do with her. I prefer the extreme.

So......

L was in her spreader bar last night, her legs spread apart, and the new cane was brought down across her bruised ass...again! and again! and again! and I kept doing it harder and harder, and after awhile, I got curious as to her state of being, so I shoved my hand into her cunt...excuse me, MY cunt, because I own it....and was treated, as I suspected, with wetness, so I finger fucked her for awhile before I pulled out the cane again.

So good to be king!

She could not do anything. Thank you spreader bar. She was helpless, restrained, under my control, so I had my eye with her, and my exhaustion gave way to arousal, and eventually I was HARD, and my desire to cane her gave way to my desire to FUCK her, and I did so, with her spreader bar on, and I fucked her hard, and she came...after permission, of course...and then she came again...and then...so did I.

The Alaskan Master ranks the spreader bar a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10.

But that was not the only gift.

Sweet girl. No Brut cologne or god awful tie, although today for the public gift with our family she gave me a nice pair of Ray Bans. But here were other private gifts..ones she will most likely hate over others.

The anal hook, for instance.

Oh, and the new ball gag. Much needed. Pet makes somes sounds when she is being flogged.

I love my birthday gifts. I love my pet.

But more than that.

I love...what lies ahead.

(grabs the lube)