Thursday, May 10, 2012

Bull in a China shop

As a rookie Dom, I am fully aware of the fact that it is going to be quite easy for me to make mistakes along the way in our new relationship, that I do not know all of the answers, that it is my responsibility to take the lead in this and that if things go wrong --- my sub doesn't behave in a manner that I find acceptable --- I have to look in the mirror and examine what I am doing or need to change. To assume any other type of position, to forge ahead blindly and stubbornly thinking I have all of the answers, would be akin to a bull rampant in a China shop. There's room for significant damage.

By fully submitting herself to me, L has given me a tremendous gift and I take that gift quite seriously.  The journey we are taking, if done right, is going to be of tremendous benefit to our lifelong relationship together. Already we have seen improvements, and we're both excited about what lies ahead. And already I have seen some mistakes I have made, as well as mistakes she has made. She, like me, realizes that it is going to take some time to figure out.

I realize I have spent a lot of time going into somewhat graphic detail about our sex life on this blog, and don't want to leave anyone with the impression that this is what it is all about. I like to write about our sex life because, hey, we have really, really good sex, I like writing about sex, and it is exciting to share with the blogosphere. And those who read this blog who are participants in the D/s world already know that it is not just about sex, so perhaps this is a moot point.

It's about big things, and it's about little things. Every morning now L has gotten up, made a pot of coffee, and brought me a cup while I am still in bed. She does it without hesitation, she does it willingly, and she does it lovingly because she knows that little gesture makes me quite happy and as she constantly tells me, it means the world to her to please me.

We've fallen into routine stuff this week with work and kids and laundry, but have worked at the same time at maintaining the D/s consistency, and I can tell that after time, it is going to flow into our daily lives quite naturally. When you live your life the way it was intended, things happen naturally. That's the way it is.

1 comment:

  1. Very well said! the most important part is to relaize that you don't know it all, you are new to this, and there is a lot of trial and error. It's a learning process. the learning process, about yourself and her, should never stop. Leave the ego at the door, do the best you can, and remember you don't know everything and you will make mistakes, as will she. That's part of it.

    It isn't the end goal that you are trying to acheive. I'm not sure there is an end goal. It's a constant journey and one that you should both enjoy every step. It's always nice to look back and see how far you have come and how much you may have changed, and then look forward and see where you want to be. All the while knowing that where you want to be is constantly changing as you progress.