Tuesday, May 8, 2012


I asked L this morning to email me why she wanted to be my submissive and what it meant to her. She claims that she isn't a writer, but I (usually) love her words and the way she expresses herself at times. Worth sharing, plus I found it quite arousing.

"First off, I wouldn't be submissive to anyone but you.  The trust and communication that is involved is just plain crazy.  I love you, I want to make you happy and please you.  Using your words, you were my submissive for years....which is partly true and I acknowledge that.  To be honest, if I didn't hand you over some control (and you're not the type of person who would want some control, you would want it all) I don't think we would work right now and that terrifies me.  I'm not your submissive because I'm scared you will leave me, I submit to you because I want more than anything to please you....and I think it's always been me.  I have been in charge forever.....even as a kid with my mother....she would take me on trips so I could drive and make the decisions half the time.  Most times they were just damn good ideas and everyone just went with it.  And I think it's good for me/us in the long run.  I get more done.  Even at yoga I found myself holding the poses for longer than I would have as I want to get in shape as it is your body now and it would please you.
Also, it totally does it for me."


  1. Great post! This sounds a lot like my husband and I as far as my being in control and him being okay with that. But this is how I feel about my husband as well. I WANT to be submissive to him. For all of these reasons and more. Curious to know was it she who brought up the idea of D/s or yourself? You seem to be stepping into the role rather easily. I am trying to get my husband to do the same. What was it that changed you from being submissive to dominant in the relationship?

    1. Thank you for the comment and for following the blog. This was a bit of a trip down memory lane for me as I haven't gone back and read some of the earlier postings in quite some time, this one being more than a year ago.

      And given the length, I actually had to talk to L and ask her, ok, which one of us instigated all of this? And the truth is, we just aren't entirely sure. We remembered having our first rough and tumble session in bed and know that sort of got things going on. But as far as a specific conversation, or one of us saying, "You know, we should try doing THIS" I simply can't remember. It just...happened. And more than a year later, here we are.

      What changed for me? I think I was so hungry for having something in my life that I had control over that I was more than eager to take on the role when L handed control of her over to me. And both of us wanted something that we could wrap our arms around, a compass of sorts, to guide us in our relationship. Because we had had some struggles. We had our own past relationships that defined us. We had our past together. We knew we loved each other and desperately wanted something to bind us. As we began doing this, it was as if we stumbled across a "Eureka!" moment.

      It was something I really wanted, and I think that has to be the case with a Dominant. It has to be something that they want, and it has to exist, at some level, inside of them, to make it happen.

      We still stumble. L is a bold and assertive woman, and like you, she has been accustomed to being the decision maker her entire life...even more so prior to our relationship. She'll get carried away, say things she shouldn't say, make decisions she shouldn't make...and on my end, I will sometimes back down when I should be standing up. We work through those problems, together, and I always know (and this gives me incredible confidence) is that all it takes from me is a stern look or ordering her to assume the position on the bed, I can bring things back to "normal" again.

      I hope this helps, and I wish the two of you the very best. If your husband would like a Dom to ask advice or guidance from, I would be happy to do so. It has helped me in the past.

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