I asked L to write about last night from her perspective, here is what she had to say. I told her that these writing assignments are good for her, that the personal reflection that it encompasses is a healthy thing to do:
Writing assignments are not my forte.....especially one that is about something so....personal.....ugh.
So I had mixed feelings about anal sex with S. As he said, it has to happen as part of total domination and well, he can if he wants too. I wasn't too worried as he promised he would go slow and stop when asked which he did for the most part. Ho boy, it wasn't him I was worried about, it was his size that concerned me. While I didn't find it awful I would rather it not be a everyday part of our sex life (stupid period!).
I think a large part of it is just trying to relax and let him go.....which I have to do a lot anyways and am getting better at not flinching or making any sounds. I find myself sitting on my hands a lot which helps me get into submissive mode.